]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/03/give-me-your-pee-rosa.html/feed 10 http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/08/who-needs-life-when-you-have-saturday.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/08/who-needs-life-when-you-have-saturday.html#comments Sun, 12 Aug 2007 01:36:00 +0000 Unsilent Majority http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/08/who-needs-a-life-when-you-have-saturday-night-pre-season-football.html TITANS!

VS.

REDSKINS!

Spero Dedes and Marshall Faulk are on the call and I’m moist in anticipation.

NFL Network is doing a great job of spotlighting all of the cute blonds in the pre-game crowd all of the.

It’s cooled down to positively frigid 93 degree night in Tennessee.

Vince Young isn’t playing because he was suspended for violating a team rule. The NFL Network’s Adam Schefter has received no indication as to what Vince did to warrant such action.

Update: KSK has learned through a source* that he’s been suspended for engaging in inappropriate sexual relations with an underage racehorse.
*It should be noted that our source is my talking bong and he only speaks German

Redskins win the toss, thus insuring a championship.

ARE and Santana Moss put me at half mast (don’t tell anyone).

Corner blitz—>Jason Campbell get killed—>fumble…and we’re in mid-season form!

The Maj has imbibed.

Dropped interception by London Fletcher…welcome to DC London, you’re going to fit in nicely.

Marshall Faulk blames the dropped interception on Washington’s inability to capitalize on opportunities instead of blaming the flight path of the deflected ball. Then he blames Kerry Collins’ drive-killing fumbled snap on the humidity instead of Collins’ delirium tremens. Marshall Faulk doesn’t like black people.

Right tackle falls down—>Jason Campbell gets killed—>fumble… The Maj is burning religious relics.

LaRon “The Ron” Landry just finished off what Jim Beam started on Kerry’s liver.

In a stunning display of accuracy kicker Sean Shawn Shaun “Swisher” Suisham just hit the upright from 47 yards away. It’s 3-0 Titans if you’re scoring at home–and if you are, your loneliness saddens me (4:50 mark).

The refs hat looks like it’s covered with a fresh coat of Optic White from Liberty Paints. I find myself blinded by the light.

London Fletcher just made his 275th tackle of the first half.

NFL officials will be viewing challenges in high definition for the first time. This makes a lot more sense than the old policy of listening to the out-of-town radio broadcast on a loop.

If you try to break a return on a Redskins punter Derrick Frost he’s liable to destroy you.

Ade Jimoh just made a tackle and Jason Campbell’s night is just about over so I’m done with this crap. Who wants to go pick up some hookers with me and my boy Andray? We’ll meet you at Thomas Circle in an hour.