Posts Tagged ‘Be thankful I cropped that Buffalo Bill photo’

Yapcunt Regional: No. 4 Steeler versus No. 5 Bill — WHO DO YOU HAVE AS MORE MACHO?

Friday, March 21st, 2008

Before Pittsburgh became an outpost of urban blight on the edge of Appalachia, it was a bustling steel town that made the name Steeler synonymous with the town’s muscular, blue-collar work force (as opposed to today’s overweight unemployed force). The steelworker faces up against Buffalo Bill Cody, the Civil War vet, Western frontiersman, and pseudo-circus ringleader who inspired the name for Buffalo’s football team for no better reason than it was a decent play on words. It’s up to you to determine the winner… WHO DO YOU HAVE AS MORE MACHO?

#4 STEELER

Strengths

- Burly
- Square jaw can withstand punching
- Able to consume massive amounts of shitty beer
- Has hot stuff; coming through
- Might have a pipe or wrench or something, I don’t know

Weaknesses

- Evolving global economy
- Techno music
- MEN!

#5 Buffalo Bill

Strengths

- Handy with a six-shooter
- Killed 4,280 bison in six 18 months. Fuck you, PETA!
- Background as cavalry scout lends to stealth
- Full name of Wild West show was “Buffalo Bill’s Wild West and Congress of Rough Riders of the World,” which isn’t a strength per se, but c’mon. That’s pretty fucking sexy.
- Only NFL mascot to be awarded the Medal of Honor

Weaknesses

- Indian-killing reputation marred by employing Sitting Bull
- Played Custer during reenactment of Battle of Little Big Horn
- Facial hair ridiculous even by 19th century standards
- Totally sold out, man

Vote on the sidebar to the right. Poll closes at the end of the day.

(All Buffalo Bill facts from Wikipedia)