I grew up thinking that burning a church down would be a terrible thing to do. But no, actually. Turns out that was wrong. There’s a time and a place for everything.

Welcome to a special bye week edition of Always Be Covering, where the only rule is that there are no rules. Also, no rabbit punching. Since there are no games this weekend we’re going to jump all over the always entertaining prop bets offered by Bodog. Continue after the jump for your guide to some completely inane wagers.

My picks are in bold.

How many food references will John Madden make during the game?

Over/Under 1 ½

Tampa doesn’t really have a local specialty dish for him to spotlight, so Madden should be free to talk about everything he’s eating. This number could hit 3 before the first quarter ends. Does it count as a food reference if you can clearly hear him chewing a Cuban sandwich?

Which Teams Cheerleaders will be shown more often on camera?

Pittsburgh -175
Arizona +135

Of course this line was taken down before I could liquidate my assets. I like to think that somebody at Bodog got fired for that little fuck up. If you did get money down on the Cardinals in time they’ll probably just call it no action regardless. Fuckers.

How many current NFL Players will be arrested during Super Bowl Week?

Over .5
Under .5

Pacman gon drank and smack some stripper ass, but Pacman isn’t currently under contract with an NFL team. Chris Henry’s been quiet for a while, but I imagine that Herr Goodell will have him locked in a secret bunker until the season is over.

Who will be tackled by his hair first in the game?

Troy Polamalu +375
Larry Fitzgerald -550

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE! Of course this one is bound to end in no action.

Which NBC Show will get the most Promo’s during the game?

The Office 5/4
Heroes 7/4
30 Rock 5/2
Chuck 11/2
Friday Night Lights 8/1
Jay Leno 15/1
Conan O’Brien 15/1

And it won’t even be close.

Will Jay Leno make an appearance during the Super Bowl Pre Game Show?

Yes -140
No Even

Wait, is this a serious possibility? Man, fuck NBC right in the fucking peacock.

What will the TV Rating be, O/U (Nielsen)

Over/Under 42.5

The last two games have gone over this number, and Steelers Super Bowls have always rated out pretty high overall, but they’re playing the fucking Cardinals. I assume most Steelers fans will watch the game on the big screen tv’s in the window at Circuit City while huddled around a flaming trashcan, and that can’t be good for the ratings.

What Song will Bruce Springsteen sing to begin his Halftime Show at the Super Bowl?

Born in the USA 2/1
Glory Days 2/1
The Rising 4/1
Born to Run 5/1
The Wrestler 5/1
Radio Nowhere 8/1
I’m on Fire 12/1

A truly awful bet no matter how you look at it, but if you have to bet then Glory Days seems like the natural choice. He played The Rising at the Inaugural concert, Born In the USA is a bit on the nose not going to happen, and he’ll probably close with Born to Run.

Post your prop favorite bets in the comments, be they real or the product of your imagination.