Sploosh!

07.06.11 Written by Captain Caveman

Don’t mind me — just posting this GIF of my new favorite player Maurice Jones-Drew dismissively wanking so the world can have it forever.

(thanks to Danger Guerrero for sharing)

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Early open thread: aging NFL legend hobbles into retirement with dignity

01.02.11 Written by flubby

PANTIES DROP

The regular season grinds to a halt today with an uninspiring lineup of games. Not a whole lot of playoff drama other than the SNF game. Here are some of today’s headlines:

Brett Favre will sit for what will likely be the final game of his career. Unless he doesn’t. Either way, I’ll believe it when I see it. [ ESPN ]

Jenn Sterger’s dad told Radar Online he totally wants to kick Favre’s ass. What a bully Leo Sterger is, threatening an old man like that. [ via PFT - no link, Florio knows why ]

Cowboys remove Jason Garrett’s interim tag, give him new one that says “Jerry’s New Bitch”. [ Michael Lombardi, NFL Network ]

Chiefs’ o-coordinator Charlie Weis will be introduced as the new University of Florida OC tomorrow. No one likes Todd Haley. [ FH ]

Shawne Merriman signs two-year extension with the Bills. You remember Shawne Merriman, don’t you? [ Mort ]

Brian Brohm starts for the Bills. Also, how about that Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl. [ NFL Facts & Rumors ]

Those are people who died, died. [ 5th Down ]

Here are today’s early games, ranking on a four-star system that doesn’t involve throwgasms.

MIA @ NE **
BUF @ NYJ *
CIN @ BAL **
TB @ NO **
CAR @ ATL **
MIN @ DET *
OAK @ KC **
PIT @ CLE *

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The Ongoing Misadventures of Tony Romo

12.29.08 Written by Unsilent Majority

Int. Dallas Cowboys team shower

[cellphone rings]

Tony: You got Romo!

Jessica: Hi, Tony. Sorry about the game.

Tony: Oh hey, Jess. It’s cool.

Jess: So I have some good news that might cheer you up!

Tony: Oh yeah, did you book our off-season vacation to celebrity sex and drug island?

Jess: No, even better!

(towel snaps in the background)

Jess: I’m pregnant!

Tony: [collapses]

Jerry: MY GODDAMN STAR! Ah, fuck it.

(Continue after the jump for the definitive .gif of Dallas’s season)
Read the rest of this entry »

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