Posts Tagged ‘and starring Charles Haley’s penis as himself’

The 49ers Need A Little Help

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008

[TEAM MEETING: 49ers practice facilitiy, Santa Clara, California] 


HEAD COACH MIKE NOLAN: Alright men, I know we normally take Tuesday off, but we really need this win coming up this week. We’re 2-2, and I really believe we can win this weekend and set up a run for the rest of the season. 

J.T. O’SULLIVAN: Coach, I think this team is poised to make a run. The loss last week has helped us realize that. 

FRANK GORE: [Holds up playbook] This is the first time I’ve ever felt like I’ve understood the offense! [Drops playbook]

JUSTIN SMITH: I think we can do it, Coach. [sips coffee] We’re really starting to come together as a team. I think everyone here has the right attitude. I think it’s time to kick some ass in the league!

[rest of the team cheers in approval]

COACH: That’s just the attitude I was looking for, men. This is gonna be a great week, I can feel it! Now, as we watch this film, on our opponent, keep in mind that–

[Coach hears knocking on door]

COACH: Hmm, don’t know who that could be. Now, men. These guys have lost some personnel on defense due to inj–

[Louder knocking on door this time]

COACH: Hey, whoever that is, we’re in a meeting! Fuck off!

[Knocking on turns into pounding, muffled screaming outside]

COACH: Boy, I’m gonna kick the shit out of whoever this is… [opens door]

(more…)