Last Week: 7-9
Overall: 100-84-7
Last week a commenter asked what was up with the dog pictures on ABC, as if he were missing out on the overarching joke. Really, I just like funny pictures of dogs. Especially dogs that look like that one above. I want a dog that looks like that all the time. I’m willing to put up with a slow learner as long as it’s always making that exact face.
If there’s something else you’d like to see up top just let me know. Until then you get funny dogs.
On to the picks!
Chanukah has begun, which for a Jew means…very little. But hey, there’s a big dreidel tournament coming up. In Brooklyn, no less. I can’t attend, but I might consider the home version.
Last Week: 11-5
Overall: 93-75-7
HOLY CRAP! I started this season with a goal of a .500 record in mind. I don’t think that’s going to happen.
On to the surprisingly good picks!
Last Week: 11-4-1
Overall: 82-70-7
Hopefully you’ll forgive me today’s abbreviated post. I took a day off from my diet to eat like a human, so I’ve mostly been sleeping today. As you’ll see, I’m off to a quick 3-0 start, which means I’m either headed for another successful week, or one disastrous Sunday. Probably the latter.
On to the picks!
I haven’t been around much this week because I was selected for jury duty on Monday. It’s about as much fun as you’d expect. I’m not supposed to talk about the case until after it’s over, so you’ll have to wait for the details of my mundane life experiences. Suffice it to say, I’ve gone completely mad with power.
Oh, and I realize that I haven’t been around here or on my Twitter feed much this week, so I haven’t been able to offer my thoughts on the Redskins.
They’re totally fucked, as always.
For more you can listen to me at On the DL. Dan Levy is enjoying all of this way too much for my liking.
On to the picks.
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Last Week: 8-2-2
Overall: 66-57-6
Last Week: 8-5
Overall: 58-55-4*
*I missed a couple of weeks because of the wedding/honeymoon, so I’m including the results of my picks pool (15-13) during that time. For what it’s worth, I use the same picks for both endeavors.
OK, I’m back in the full swing of things after a few hectic weeks. The bad news is that I started a pretty intense diet on Sunday, so unlike the surprisingly svelte bulldog above I am unable to belly up to the bar any time soon. Now most people would spend the two months prior to their wedding on this kind of diet, but I’m an idiot. On the bright side, now people won’t look at my wedding picture and and comment on how I’ve really let myself go. Hopefully.
The diet means no alcohol of any kind, or any of my other favorite complex carbohydrates. I’ve lost like seven pounds this week alone, which is probably a bit drastic, but my belt no longer fits, so I care not. So far the hardest parts have been sitting through Redskins and Wizards games sober. If I can pull that off, Thanksgiving should be doable.
/eats oyster stuffing by the handful
On to the picks.
I’m finally back from the wedding/honeymoon fun, so this is a short week for me. With that in mind I’ve decided to take my two weekly feature and combine them into one half-assed post. Why? THERE’S NO TIME TO EXPLAIN! On to the randomly arranged picks and lulz.
With Unsilent Majority off in Aruba on his honeymoon, I’m filling in for ABC duties this week. I only gamble on the NFL when I’m in Las Vegas, and I constantly get confused about whether the plus and minus signs mean “giving” or “getting” points, so it’s in your best interest not to put any money on my picks — I’m certainly not.
Anyway, before we get to the picks I just wanted to point to a section of the 2000 New Yorker profile on “Simpsons” writer George Meyer that Drew re-circulated on Twitter this morning:
Meyer’s interest in professional football is strictly pragmatic: unlike most vegetarian, yoga-practicing, Deadhead collectors of space-program memorabilia, he is a studious and enthusiastic gambler. He spent many hours at the dog track when we were in college, and during a period in the early eighties when he lived in New York, his single sartorial flourish was a three-piece suit, which he wore on days when there was a heavyweight title fight. He is well acquainted with the short flight from Los Angeles to Las Vegas.
So, comedic geniuses CAN be good gamblers. You just won’t find either one here.
Last Week: 4-10
Overall: 28-30-4
Lesson Learned: I am Week 4′s bitch once more.
What I’d buy if I ever won some bets: Whirlpool Fountain!
On to the picks.
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Last Week: 9-7
Overall: 24-20-4
Lesson Learned: They’re still the Redskins, damn it.
To the picks…
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