Are you one of those people with a big inner child who longs for the tree house he never had as a child? Are you also a wealthy deviant looking for a nearly invisible place to carry out your horrific deeds? Well for the $300,000 the Mirrorcube could be yours. It’s made of mirrors, you see. If anyone were to approach, they’d see nothing but themselves. As you can imagine, that could be extremely unsettling. Nice job, Scandinavians. You have crafted a truly Unnecessary Purchase.

Last Week: 6-9
Overall: 67-72-2

I’m never going to get that rape box.

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It’s actually called the Bravo Sports Blacktop 360 Premium Party Hub Grill (concise!), and it’s your Unnecessary Purchase of the Week (Uncrate via reader Randy). This bad boy of tailgating does it all, from frying up wings to searing steaks at 650 degrees inches away. That seems very safe, and I’ll happily put that theory to the test if they send me a free one (eh? ehhh?).

On to the picks!

Last week: 7-7
Overall: 61-63-2

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Oh yeah, that’s a great “idea,” guys. Definitely something you should buy for your “loved” ones this Christmas. Or “Hanukkah,” or whatever. These “kate spade” mittens are a “great value” at $65 (via “Buzzfeed“).

I showed these to my wife and she loved them immediately. Then I told here who made them and how much they cost. It didn’t deter her one bit. I’m pretty sure that qualifies as grounds for divorce, or possibly even annulment.

Last week: 4-8-1
Overall: 54-56-2

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The temperature in Washington is still a seasonable 50 degrees, but snow could be on the way (EVERYBODY PANIC). Out in Colorado the first real snowfall has arrived. The bad news is that the temperature out there is going to spike over the weekend, meaning no snow games in the NFL. Yet. It’s only a matter of time before Tim Tebow is throwing forty yard end-over-end “bombs” through the snowflakes in whatever they’re calling Mile High this week. So now is as good a time as any to start prepping for winter time fun. And what would winter be without this preposterous yet tempting device.

Introducing the Crossbow Snow Launcher from the ultimate peddler of Unnecessary Purchases, The Sharper Image. The devise can launch snowy projectiles up to 60 yards feet, making it the perfect weapon for the noodle armed masses. So if you’re looking to get Rex Grossman a Christmas gift, consider your search complete. The crossbow even makes its own snowballs, because children today are all lazy and inept.

Last week: 6-6-1
Overall 49-48-1

I am the human coin. On to the picks!

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This comically oversized slipper comes via The Daily What.

[Tom] Boddingham says the Chinese company that manufactures the slipper missed the decimal point in his custom order: He wanted a size 14.5 left, but got a size 1,450 instead.

“It was sent directly from Hong Kong and measures 210 x 130 x 65cms – the same length as a grizzly bear or a family car,” the 27-year-old from Ilford, East London, is quoted as saying. “I reckon I must be the owner of the biggest slipper in the world.”

I know it was a mistake, but now I want to order one. I have so many questions. Did they charge him a regular slipper price? Why is the right slipper normal sized? How bad does it smell in there?

Last week: 5-7-1
Overall: 43-42-1
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We’re back in business after a big week. That means it’s time to splurge on something truly unnecessary. Behold, the $450 cookbook. Modernist Cuisine is a five volumes of art, science, and technique. It’s awesome to look at, and totally not worth the absurd amount of money. I want it more than anything.

Last Week: 9-3-1
Overall: 38-35-3

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This is the Johnny Walker Blue Label Bar by Porsche Design. It costs $150,000, and it’s what Don Draper would have in his office if Mad Men took place in the near future like I suggested. It’s made of titanium, it opens and closes like magic, and it would look absolutely ridiculous in your house. Pretty much the perfect Unnecessary Purchase. But at least it comes with three bottles of their good stuff. You can hardly afford to not buy it.

Last Week: 5-11
Overall: 29-32-2

Damn. On to the picks.
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This vintage Pac-Man arcade game seems like a fitting Unnecessary Purchase, unless it comes with the woman pictured here, in which case it becomes EXTREMELY NECESSARY. A stand-up version of the classic game will probably set you back a few thousand. But you can’t really put a price on dat ass. If that’s out of your range maybe you can settle for Pacman Jones. You can probably get him for cheap, and he comes with his own stable of well endowed ladies.

CHUH CHUH

Last Week: 8-8
Overall: 24-21-2

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It’s my pleasure to officially welcome you to fall, the king of the seasons. Fall was probably what I missed most of all while living in Arizona. Fall and not having to sit in a bar at 9:30 every Sunday morning for four two months (and at 10:30 for the other two months). What better way to commemorate the first day of the season than with the latest Unnecessary Purchase of the Week? These retro sweaters come to us via Chitwood and Hobbs, and they make me long for the version of Joe Gibbs who didn’t dance for Dan Snyder.

Last Week: 8-7-1
Year to Date:16-13-2

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Last Week: 8-6-1

If you continue to bet on football, it’s only natural that you’re going to be saddled with excess cash. It’s the main reason why gambling is so popular. That’s why I’m happy introduce a new feature to Always Be Covering, the Unnecessary Purchase of the Week. Every Friday I will highlight some ridiculous item that I wish to possess to go along with the week’s picks.

This week, it’s this vintage whisky dispenser. I guess her name is “Evva”, and with her as motivation I’m sure to put up a profitable week. Besides, how much could something like this possibly cost? It looks pretty old. If I can’t find it I’ll just have to settle for this garish modern version.

To the picks!

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