FAVRE TO STAY RETIRED UNTIL HE DOESN’T STAY RETIRED AND SO ON. The latest comes courtesy Yahoo!, citing a team source saying Britfar doesn’t want to sign with the Vikings. This, of course, precedes tomorrow’s announcement that Tony Boselli dined at Toone P. Wiggins and heard a distinct voice in the restroom that he knew to be Favre’s utter “MAYBE!” Then in the coming days white smoke will issue from the Vatican, and Brett Favre will be named the next Pope of Chilitown. But that report will be rescinded by the reverse vampires, working in conjunction with FOX Sports and soon, before anyone has realized it, Favre will be named unquestioned lord and master of the universe and will force Drew Magary to stand before him and repeat “Meh” until such time that Drew’s gray matter spews forth from his nostrils. The End?