Posts Tagged ‘AHAHAHAHAHA’

My Oh My, That Sure is A Lot of Lombardi Trophies

Monday, February 2nd, 2009

Official Best Steelers Season Ever Checklist

[x] Avenge playoff loss to Jaguars in Jacksonville
[x] Destroy the Redskins in Raljon, MD with 30,000 Steelers fans in attendance
[x] Beat the shithead Ravens
[x] Beat the shithead Ravens twice
[x] Beat the shithead Ravens thrice MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[x] Curb-stomp the Greatriots in Foxboro
[x] Defeat the Cowboys on a Romo pick-six
[x] Extend winning streak over Browns to 11
[x] End the annoying Chargers fluke of being 0-13 in Pittsburgh in the regular season but 2-0 in the playoffs
[x] Finally win a goddamn AFC Championship Game at home
[x] Win a record sixth Super Bowl title, this time in a thrilling game over a hyped-up underdog, with Roethlisberger forever silencing critics with game-winning drive
[x] Do it all without an offensive line and with an insanely difficult schedule
[x] Masturbate furiously

Special thanks to haters everywhere. You make this at least 8 to 12 percent more enjoyable.

AND MY PARROT FRIEND CAME BACK!

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KTFO Theatre: Philly’s Chris Clemons gives Tashard Choice the what-for

Monday, December 29th, 2008

Allow me to join this dogpile of rubbing in it. What a stupendous day of football.

UPDATE: we hear Romo doesn’t just collapse on the field– apparently he does it in the shower too.

[ image: Threadbombing ]

He’s Just Having Fun on the Sidelines

Sunday, December 28th, 2008

Favre sits out his last snap ever? After throwing an illegal forward lateral on his last play?

This day is spec-fucking-tacular.

WELKAAAHH Gets Blown Up By the Daahhhkie

Sunday, November 30th, 2008

I must say, that had to have been one of the more satisfying Steelers victories since Super Bowl XL. Of course, it would have been nothing without smug, self-satisfied comments by Pats fans leading up to the game, especially those appearing in Pittsburgh publications.

Aw, that’s cute. Too bad Matt Cassel fell about 230 yards short of that 400-yard mark. Oh yeah, and he turned the ball over four times. I’m sure Randy Moss feels vastly disrespected by the footballs that bounced off his hands. But, yeah, he’s still the best there is. Unless the game matters.

Why’d They Caat Him? He Couldah Been the Welkaaah of tha Defense!

Monday, November 24th, 2008

From the reinforcing stereotypes department comes this e-mailed observation from reader “Juice” about how New England fans have fallen madly in love with TRUE PAY-TREE-UT John Lynch, despite the fact that he never played a regular season game for the team. Hmmm. Wonder why.

Last week I was up in Boston for the Pats/Jets game (I’m a Pats fan – insert joke here). Needless to say I missed several days’ worth of KSK entries during my trip. Today I decided to go scrolling back through the archives to see what I missed when I stumbled upon the picture of the Pats fan in the Lynch jersey per your entry.

Well I’m writing you today to tell you this – New England fans LOVE John Lynch. I saw no less than 15 John Lynch jerseys at the game vs. the Jets I attended. Pretty impressive for a guy whose Patriots career totaled 12 total tackles over the course of three pre-season games.

Probably the most telling part of NE’s love of Lynch was in the pro shop. Inside, they have two racks of replica jerseys for probably sixteen different players in all. These jerseys ran seventy-five dollars apiece. They also had a rack of jerseys of players who are no longer with the Pats, and these were marked down to twenty-five dollars a piece. On this discount rack there were such jerseys as Eugene Wilson, a decent safety for the Pats over his five year career, and Chad Jackson, receiver out of Florida who ended up being a massive bust.

The most telling part came when I noticed that of the sixteen jerseys being sold at $75 a pop, fifteen were active players on the Patriots. Only one wasn’t (throwbacks none withstanding). That, of course, was the jersey of Mr. John Lynch, now retired. So not only is there a market for John Lynch Patriot jerseys, celebrating his three-game preseason career as a Pat, but there still bringing in $75 a pop.

Nazi Shark Has Nothing on Masshole Camel

Thursday, November 13th, 2008

Tonight marks the second of this season’s Thursday night games on the network for football that nobody gets. No worries though, as Princess the camel, currently touting a perfect 10-0 record on the season, is going with the Patriots tonight to get over the hump (Ha-cha-cha!) against Favraro and the Tumbling Manginis.

For those who don’t get NFL Network, commenter Ryan the Intern says you can watch the broadcast here. There might be a live blog tonight. Or not. Yes, there will be a live blog tonight. Check back at 8.

That Was a Joy to Watch

Sunday, October 12th, 2008

I might make this my new screen saver. If only it didn’t make my dick retreat inside my body.

The Moose and the Marmalard: WHO YA GOT?

Friday, October 10th, 2008

The once-awaited rematch of the five-interception tour de felch that was last year’s AFC Championship Game has paled a touch in the past month, given the usual early-season stumblings of the Chargers and Bernard Pollard’s neutering of the Patriots, still manages to be one of the more exciting games of the week. Cassel represents a wholly douchey team while Rivers represents most of the doucheiness within his own squad. It’s a contrast in styles, but hopefully a still-watchable game. So, WHO YA GOT?

Contestants

Matt Cassel____________________Philip Rivers

Nickname

Moose_______________Marmalard, Laserface

How you know he has AIDS

Proximity to Leinart and Brady______________Raped by Merriman

Play marked by

Staring down receivers______________Beating punters on hang time

Needs to utilize

Quitting Randy Moss________Useless LaKneeInjury who can’t get in from the oneMy Tiny Darren

Will either save Indy?

Courted his wife with

Rousing rendition of “I Want It That Way”________________All that sexy abstinence

Favored insult

Moosetard__________________Cutlerfucker

Finishing move

Red Sox distract baseball town from football team they already gave up on____Can still blame it on Norv

Patriots Fans Make This Far, Far Too Easy

Thursday, September 11th, 2008

And the scariest thing about all this is that Drew was right!

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Tuesday, September 9th, 2008

That’s a real banner they put up in Gillette Stadium. I’ll have you know I will now be hanging a “2008 – TOM BRADY TORN ACL” banner in my basement.

Image via the Globe via reader Ben M.