It’s not everyday that one can say this, so I’ll say it today: It feels damn good to be a Bengals fan.

All the Redskins had to do was roll into Cincinnati and do what almost every other team had done against the Bengals: score more points than they did. How fucking hard is that? But after an early Chris Cooley fumble (due to sore abs, I’m sure), the Bengals jumped out to a 17-0 lead and gobbled enough cock clock to keep the Redskins at bay.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that this is the first time I’ve seen the Bengals win in at least three years. It felt good to watch a team take initiative and then realize, “Hey, we’re doing a great job of not getting utterly buttfucked off the ball.” I hope we can look as competent in Cleveland next week, and contribute to another head coach firing. The important thing is to not get worked up about a single win, to act like we’ve been there before, and to show the composure of a champion over the next three weeks.

YYEAAAAHHHH! YOU SUCK, DC! RYAN FITZPATRICK OWNS YOUR ASSES! YOU WOULD HAVE SUCKED A DICK IN THE PLAYOFFS ANYWAY, BITCHES! WOOOOOOOO! WHO DEY! WHO DEY! GET FUCKED, DC! WE’RE 1-2-1 AGAINST THE NFC EAST! WOOOOOOOO!!!