Certificate Of Merit Sept 2

KSK


Even with the holiday weekend, the Kommentariat was on its game for this final week of the offseason. Why, everyone was even a good sport about the final mock draft melee of the summer. Hope you all got something good in there since you’re stuck with your draft picks until February.

Now comes the tough part. Commenting fast and furiously while still being funny during football. Drinking extra beers won’t help you. Weed? Probably not. Molly? Most likely, but we won’t hear the comment as you will be telling it to a ficus in the corner of the room and not us.

I am your host Sarah Sprague and these are your Comments of the Week for September 3, 2014. One more sleep until football.

Wes Welker Took Molly, So Now Concussions Aren’t The Only Reason He Isn’t Playing

Scotchnaut

“I’m not that surprised. He’s always dropping something.”

-Gisele Bundchen

The KSK Fantasy Football Guide For Men

Brocky

What category is Toby Gerhart in?

Also, seeing as Gerhart is owned in 100% of fantasy leagues, is there a way to calculate what percentage were auto drafts? Because I can’t see how anyone could consciously draft him.

(Reply) MythReindeer

Explanation: PFTCommenter is in every fantasy league.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being Mike Pettine

Kam Fong as Chin Ho

A more realistic scenario would be Pettine having to choose between getting kicked in the balls by someones right foot or their left. Both options are gonna hurt but one might not be quite as hard or accurate.

We Must Be High Day Continues on KSK: Roger Goodell Admits He Made a Mistake With Ray Rice Suspension

Horatio Cornblower

It’s not really clear that the NFL is held to a higher standard so much as it completely failed to meet the already low standards we have for dealing with domestic violence.

What if all the NFL logos smoked weed?

CG Waterbound

ONE MILLION YEARS SUSPENSION

Michael Vick Is Pissed At Riley Cooper For Not Texting Him Back

Cuntler

Christ, if Michael Vick compared me to his little brother, I wouldn’t text him back, either.