Raunchy tandem fan jerseys are always a delight, especially if they combine to form a vulgar message plus a 69. So well done, you two, and may you never change seat position.

Such a ribald sense of humor those 12th Whoevers have.

whoever

IG


— The suspensions handed down to Josh Gordon and Wes Welker might be reduced or overturned once the NFL and NFLPA strike a new deal to modify the league’s drug policies, which would also include implementing player blood tests for HGH. According to the always nebulous “sources”, the deal is expected to be done before this Sunday’s first slate of games start, meaning Welker could be on the field… oh wait, never mind, he’s still hurt.

— Eddie Lacy suffered a concussion in last night’s loss to the Seahawks. Some are questioning whether he sustained the concussion on this hit then later returned to the game before being diagnosed with the concussion.

— Lacy had an Incredible Hulk undershirt on beneath his jersey. It’s about time the world had a discussion about the Hulk’s history of head injuries.

— Having NFL players read mean tweets sent to them by fans is becoming quite the thing, and so it was last night of Kimmel’s show. The bit includes, among others, Terrell Owens, Dwight Freeney, Ike Taylor, DeSean Jackson, Erin Andrews, Dez Bryant plus Brandon Marshall stifling fakey fake tears.

— The Ickey Shuffle is back: now in insurance company shill form!

— The next fun cosmetic thing the NFL wants to ban from the game as a uniform violation: excessive face paint. Pretty sure Goodell is just mad that he can’t pull it off.

— The read-option pass that went for the Seahawks’ first touchdown last night was a copy of the play Auburn ran against Alabama for a score last year. The meathead enemies of progress and any play that isn’t a run up the gut were quick to react:


— Did Dante Hall actually help put a small electronics chain out of business in 2003 by returning a kickoff for a touchdown? Short answer: nope, but the chain did have a discount deal related to the Chiefs that customers cashed in on, but it didn’t actually lose money on the deal and later went out of business for unrelated reasons. So now you know.

— The Bengals signed defensive tackle Devon Still to their practice squad to help him pay for his daughter’s cancer treatments, marking the first time Mike Brown has actually not been cheap for a good cause since that time he decided to actually put concrete in the stands so they wouldn’t collapse.