Back in February, a band called Madison Rising performed the national anthem at a NASCAR Nationwide Series race. The performance was…um…how do I put this politely…well, here, just watch:
If you thought maybe this was just one poor performance by an otherwise decent band, you’d be sadly mistaken. The band, which bills itself as America Most Patriotic Band (umm….what about America?), is what you would get if you crossed Ted Nugent’s ideology with Nickelback’s musical sensibilities. If you don’t believe me, check out “Right To Bear,” their gun nut anthem, or “Before The Hyphens Came,” which seems to posit that if we just stopped using the phrase “African-American,” we would achieve instant racial harmony.
But what does any of this have to do with football you ask, o reasonable reader? Well, Madison Rising announced on their Facebook page that, in light of the NFL asking performers to pay to play the Super Bowl, they are offering $100,000 for the gig. My guess is the bigger names will thoroughly outbid them, but in the comments, their fans are threatening to create a Kickstarter so they can raise more money. If this gets going, there’s a chance this band might actually end up playing the Super Bowl. Sure, it’s an incredibly slim chance, but that’s still a frightening thought. KSK readers, I implore you, do everything in your power to stop this from happening! We can’t let our beautiful game be soiled like this!
On second thought, fuck it. They can’t be worse than The Black Eyed Peas.
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.