Really, is a little attention from the national media really worth prostrating yourself to the Nugget Baron? We all know the Jags want to show off their fancy new jumbotron, but there have to be better ways to do so. For example, they could a montage of grisly murders or, if that’s too much, a test pattern. Literally anything else would do.

Anyway, hope this supplicating is worth the positive coverage. I was actually pulling for Jacksonville to build on some of its late-season success in 2013 into actually being a respectable team for the first time in years. And now I hope they remain a laughingstock and wish Gabbertitis upon Blake Bortles, all so Peter King can still clumsily defend them because the team put his name on the big screen.