Rob Gronkowski is so sure he’s ready to come back from ACL surgery, he’s saying (to his Football 101 training camp) that he not only believes he’ll be ready for the New England Patriots’ season opener against the Miami Dolphins on September 7, but he’ll even play the entire season.
Consider us skeptics. Gronk is known just as much for his time on the sidelines in a cast as he is for his partying, so what are the odds he makes it through the 2014 season? Let’s take a look at how the numbers rise and fall as the season wears on for the Patriots and their problematically healthy tight end.
September 7 @ Miami Dolphins Even. Sure Gronk may miss most of training camp, but there is no reason why he cannot play in the season opener against the Dolphins.
September 14 @ Minnesota Vikings 75/1. Really, how often does one poke out their eye popping victory champagne against the Dolphins?
September 21 Oakland Raiders 90/1. Perhaps Gillette Stadium serves a bad batch of beef stroganoff that week, but doubtful.
September 29 @ Kansas City Chiefs 27/1. Travel game, so there is always a chance of getting a bottle of bad water or worse, getting stuck in Andy Reid’s mustache.
October 5 Cincinnati 3/1. Could be a close one as no one wants to catch Gingervitis from Andy Dalton. Gronk may wisely bench himself this game.
October 12 @ Buffalo Bills Even. Who wouldn’t want to pad their stats playing against the Bills? If you may not make it through the entire season and your name is Rob Gronkowski, then you really want to play in this game.
October 16 New York Jets 17/1. Late season bee attack.
October 26 Chicago Bears 42/1. Early season bear attack.
November 2 Denver Broncos 4/1. “Hey, you lost the Super Bowl worser than we did!”
November 16 @ Indianapolis Colts 18/1. Biscuits and gravy overdose.
November 23 Detroit Lions Even. Tough not to be around your family on Thanksgiving.
November 30 @ Green Bay Packers 5/1. Jesus christ how many games do we have to play again?
December 7 @ San Diego Chargers 2/1. Beaches in December. IN, even if he has to grow a new tibia from scratch.
December 14 Miami Dolphins 15/1. Didn’t we already play you?
December 21 @ New York Jets 14/1. And you?
December 28 Buffalo Bills 2/1. But only because no one thinks he’s healthy enough for the playoffs.
I want more like this!
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