Chad Johnson scored his first touchdown in the CFL on Friday on a 46-yard pass from Troy Smith. Johnson then proceeding to hug a referee who looked super thrilled for the experience.

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CFL


— Pam Oliver is being demoted to sideline reporter duty on FOX’s no. 2 NFL broadcasting crew in her final season while Erin Andrews is being called up to work sideline duty with Joe Buck and Troy Aikman. It’s a dumb decision and I’m sure it’s based entirely on that Andrews just happened to be the person that Richard Sherman unloaded on after the NFC Championship Game.

— Rich Eisen is doing the last of the fill-in columns for the MMQB before Nugget Baron returns next Monday. Remarkably, Eisen might be the closest to mimicking PK’s style of equivocating nothingness. Not only does Eisen write several thousands words without saying anything of note, he seems to believe that the Saints won the NFC South in 2013.

nfcs

MMQB


— The DEA is investigating alleged abuse of prescription drugs in NFL locker rooms in the wake of a lawsuit by former players accusing the league of illegally using painkillers to keep players on the field over the years. In other news, the NFL will begin lobbying for swift legalization of horse tranquilizers.

— A man claimed he was assaulted by both Pouncey brothers at a Miami Beach club early Saturday morning, though neither Mike’s nor Maurkice’s name appears on the incident report, so their friendship with Aaron Hernandez will just have to remain their only concern for law enforcement for the time being.

— Feel the shame, Bears fans.


— Tom Brady was also at the World Cup final grabbing his wife’s ass.

— Daily Florio troll: apparently the Ravens five off-season arrests make a mockery of John Harbaugh’s mythic high standards of conduct. Because the pecking order of sanctifies things players must protect goes 1. Shield 2. John Harbaugh 3. The American Way.