Everything is coming up Cleveland Browns this morning, so here is a round up of your northeast Ohio-centric news:
- Browns head coach Mike Pettine says he’ll name a Browns starting quarterback before the third game of the preseason game against the St. Louis Rams on August 23. That’s like a month away! Holy crap, we’ll know in about four weeks if we need to keep treating Johnny Football like a second string quarterback or not!
From the same Akron-Beacon Q&A with Coach Pettine, you have to love the blind eye he’s turning to Manziel’s Drinking Swan antics.
Q: You haven’t addressed the media since Manziel’s “money phone” video created a stir.
A: “I’m not sure because it was brought up to me and I don’t know the answer, but somebody told me that picture was old.”
Q: It was a video.
A: “Oh, it was from a video. I don’t know when the video was taken. But somebody said to me that that was from a while ago, like maybe even as far back as his freshman year [at Texas A&M], and I didn’t really study the picture to know how young he looks in it. I was told, I don’t know if it’s true, that that was an older thing.”
That is some serious denial. Like when you parents know you probably were the one who messed up your neighbor’s mailbox but instead decide to blame it on Jimmy Riston down the street level of denial.
- Speaking of Manziel, he has the top selling jersey in the NFL right now, ahead of Super Bowl champion Russell Wilson, 49er Colin Kaepernick and Peyton Manning. We have to assume Manning is only in fifth place because everyone in the state of Colorado already has three other Peyton jerseys and sales are just finally starting to slow to trickle in Wyoming, New Mexico and Utah.
- Things aren’t all sunshine and rainbows in Manziel town though. SBNation reports his Madden stats will be just sort of middling to start off with come August 1. Maybe the poor guy can start his own video game company in Rhode Island with millions of dollars in subsidies to make his own game with better Manziels. Wait, that’s a baseball thing to do.
- What’s going on with Josh Gordon? Well, in what feels like a “Who’s on first?” routine, the Browns are not cutting him and they expect him to report to camp on Friday. Good news for a man who has made his position even worse over the summer.
“Will you cut him?”
“No, he’s going to be banned.”
“Banned for how long?”
“We don’t know yet. But he’s coming to camp.”
“Depends on if he’s banned.”
“So you’ll cut him?”
- Also, Cedar Point is going to name a roller coaster after LeBron James? While I know this isn’t football-specific, if you just need another example of how demented an entire region can be over sports even when it treats you so poorly, well. Cleveland is it.
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.