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Dear Big Brother Pey-TON:

How is camp? I know you haven’t started yet but by the time you get this letter you’ll be at camp so you can answer then. Do you like your bunkmates? Did they give you a mini fridge? Did you see the mini fridges the Purple Murples got?

Gross. They look like they would only hold like two cases of juice boxes and that’s only if you left your Motts on the table but who likes warm apple sauce? (Mom already mailed me a case of the pink Motts. Did you get yours yet?)

We started camp yesterday. Abby dropped me off and it’s the first time I’ve had to leave little Lucy alone for so long. She’s already close to using pullups which Abby tells me is a big deal! We’re already planning her first potty party which I don’t remember having when we were kids. Were you at my potty party? Was there cake? I hope it was strawberry with chocolate and jimmies.

Anyways. Can I tell you a secret? AND NO TELLING DAD OR COOPER I MEAN IT. Swear?

I’m a little scared this season.

Coach Kevin is gone and now Coach Ben McAdoo — sometimes when no one is looking I call him ‘McAdoodoohead’ DON’T TELL — has given me a new book to learn this season and it’s hard because I just finished learning Coach Kevin’s book last year and this one doesn’t have as many pictures as Coach Kevin’s did and there are no crayons to use during ‘QUARTERBACKS ONLY – NO RUNNING BACKS ALLOWED’ meetings. NO CRAYONS! Curtis said he was going to sneak in some markers but then Ryan said everyone would be able to smell them and what if we got in trouble? What would you do?

Well, I have to go they’re saying lights out but I still have the DS you got me for Christmas so I can play Nintendogs until I get sleepy. Please write back soon and tell me what do you about Coach McAdoodoohead.

Your brother,
Eli

PS Did you ever get your blankey back from the girl on the sideline? Is it lost? I can look for it if you want around the locker rooms. But not the Jets one. I think it’s haunted by an empty locker. NO IT’S TRUE DON’T TELL COOP I SAID SO BUT PEOPLE TALK TO IT AND THE GUARDS ALL SAY IT TALKS BACK.

PPS If you don’t want them, send me the pink Motts Mom sent us. Already ate mine.

PPSS Confession, my bunkmates ate my Motts but it’s okay because friends share.

PPPSS Can you believe that Johnny Football? Dad was right about him. Hope they take his money phone from him at camp AND he has to use pencils. With no erasers. NO. With a Hello Kitty eraser. Okay I have to go or they’ll take my DS for the night and my poor doggies :(.