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"LOLNFL: Never Ending OTAs"
A white guy in a referees uniform using a leash to hold back a black guy? Riley Cooper knew he made the right decision to come to Philadelphia!
They tried running that drill with Vick in camp, but he kept trying to stick live wires up his teammates bungholes.
“Hey, Robert, are both your knees fucked up, or is the damage confined to just one?”
“All right, all right, all right.”
True story – I once dated a girl who claimed to be a descendant of the actual Captain Morgan.
Yes, she was a stripper. From Oregon, home to the best-looking strippers I’ve ever come across (hee hee, phrasing).
Yes, she was probably full of shit.
You can’t drop a “come across” joke and then describe her as “full of shit” too.
Law of large numbers. There are so many strippers in Oregon that some of them have to be attractive.
Did she also tell you she is raising money for medical school?
Oregon strippers are the best? Sir, you need to go to Canadaia and go to Vancouver’s strip club scene. It’s not that far of a drive. Or take a flight to Montreal. I assure you, both are better. The problem with Oregon’s strip club scene is that there are some strip clubs that have women so nasty, you can’t unsee them naked.
Lots of people are full of shit, it just depends on the time of day and how much they ate the day before.
@Rikki-Tikki-Deadly – Day? If it’s fast food Mexican, we’re talking hours.
Not pictured: Ronaldo’s 27 step-overs before releasing the pass.
I thought that was El Shitbox.
@Enrico Pallazzo – you can tell it’s not Nacho, not enough duckface, too good mechanics.
and lacking POISE
McConaughey: Dazed and Confused?
Fred Davis: Oh, shit, is it that obvious??
#3 Chip Kelly got a great deal from Vick before he left.
“You got a healthy ACL on you?” – Wooderson
“No, not on me, man.” – RG3
“It’d be a lot cooler if you did.” – Redskins’ fans
“OMG I LOVED YOU IN MAGIC MIKE!”–Kerry Rhodes
“OMG, I LOVED YOU IN A TIME TO KILL”
– Sean Taylor’s widow.
“OMG I LOVED YOU IN FOOL’S GOLD!”
– Dan Snyder
“OMG I LOVED YOU IN FAILURE TO LAUNCH!”
– Christian Ponder
“OMG I LOVED YOU IN JOE KILLER!”
– Lawrence Taylor
“IF THERE’S A CLUB IN DALLAS AND ITS ABOUT BUYIN STUFF, I SHOULD BE A MEMBER! WOOOHOOOO! I’M FUCKIN CRAZY!”
– Double J
“OMG I LOVED YOU IN ANGELS IN THE OUTFIELD”
– Eli Manning
“OMG I LOVED YOU IN THE WEDDING PLANNER!”
-FUCKING NOBODY EVER
OMG I HATED YOU IN REIGN OF FIRE!” – Andre Rison
“OMG I LOVED YOU IN WHITE MEN CAN’T JUMP!”
“OMG I LOVED YOU IN BOYS ON THE SIDE!” – Aaron Rogers
“OMG, I LOVED YOU IN DAZED AND CONFUSED. PURPLE MONKEY TACO DETROIT!” – Jim McMahon
“How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” would also work for Aaron Rogers, because he likes chicks, man.
“OMG, I LOVED YOU IN ‘MUD'”-Najeh Davenport
@Cuntler — Outstanding stuff as always.
“OMG, I LOVED YOU IN “FRAILTY”
– Marion Barber III
“OMG I LOVED YOU IN AMISTAD”
– Brandon Spikes
“OMG I LOVED YOU IN THE WORF OF WALL STREET.
Wait, what? Ah, dammit.”
– Michael Dorn
@mclamb86 that was tremendous
“OMG I LOVED YOU IN THE FAST & THE FURIOUS”
“That was Paul Walker.”
“O RLY? TELL HIM HI FOR ME”
Philly must have learned the leash training techniques from Ookie. Hopefully they didn’t adopt all his training techniques, because, if so, cutting the roster down to 53 will now involve drowning players in the bathtub.
Jus’ put ‘em in a big sack ‘n’ toss ‘em in de river.
Do they still have to pay out their contract or is there a drowning clause?
I believe it is called “Dead money in the cap.”
The Foot Locker guy’s LeSean McCoy balloon is running out of helium.
“Still throws better than Tebow”
Re Pic 1: He should have used Magic Mike. Guarantee he’s seen that one.
Now I really want to sneak into team facilities tonight and write FREE HUGS on all the tackling dummies.
“I’m darin’ ya, Billy.”
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