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Match of the day first thing in the morning as the US faces Germany. Germany wins, they win the Group of Death. The US wins, they win the Group of Death. They draw, both teams move on. The US loses and they can still move on if Portugal and Ghana draw or Portugal only wins by a small margin, giving the US the goal differential. I’d give you a preview of the Portugal Ghana game, but you watched them play the US and you know what to expect, plus screw them. We’re watching USA! USA! USA!

Look, even coach Jürgen Klinsmann (HERO! WE TAKE BACK ANYTHING BAD WE SAID ABOUT YOU DURING THE LANDYCAKES AFFAIR!) gave you the day off.


 

 

Group G already is going to the dominate Belgium side, with Algeria and Russia battling it out for the second spot and a mostly-dead South Korean team. The Algerian-Russian match is an interesting one as neither team has ever moved on to the next round (not counting the USSR squads). Algeria was the highest ranked African team going into the tourney so expectations are high for the squad, but pressure has to be even higher on the Russians as they play hosts for World Cup 2018. Should be a high-flying affair, a perfect comedown after a morning of bald eagles, apple pie and the greatest of all pastimes, pretending to work in the middle of the day. 

Finally, via reader Stephen in Boston:

teebwc