manzielburger

There exists a Johnny Football burger. Actually, there are a few version of it in different places, which is less noteworthy or troubling than the fact that there are still some regions of the country where soda is called pop, as evidenced above.

— The hoax lawsuit against Manziel was thrown out, leading to the very TMZ headline: PENIS CLEARED OF WRONGDOING.

— Browns running back Ben Tate, meanwhile, said he’s annoyed with the extent of the Johnny Manziel media coverage.

— WELL GOOD FOR BEN TATE, ‘CAUSE HE’S GOT A HOME WITH THE REST OF THE FOLKS IN HOYER COUNTRY! [It seems the bar is in fact owned by people Hoyer went to high school with and is down the street from where he grew up]

hoyercountry

— Turns out the story about Charlie Whitehurst losing his jersey number in an arm-wrestling contest to the punter was a fabrication by the quarterback. Just as well. Whitehurst can’t even be mediocre in interesting ways. Back to the dustbin of backup quarterback history with you!

— Dr. Dre purchased the swiftly abandoned Tom Brady mansion for $40 million. How will he make use of the in-built hair product cellar and hallway of mirrors?

— Off-topic: Maureen Dowd wrote about eating a bunch of marijuana candies and freaking out in her hotel room, which is still less zany than her column about RGIII.

— Sam Bradford expected to be ready for Rams minicamp and, by extension, the regular season. Get excited!