SportsOnEarth had a long sitdown with oldschool Coach John Madden. A guy whose the most responsible for the rise of video games then anyone accept for maybe divorced dads trying to look cool.

Johns the voice of reason delivering sobering news to the NFL- a roll he has alot of pratice in sharing a broadcasting booth with Pat Summerall. Hes the guy who tries to get players to play the game the right way in stead of copying TD celebrations to get on SportCenter. But there was one quote that stuck out to me this week:

Behind Madden’s desk, in a place of prominence, is a classic photograph of Lombardi and George Halas on the sidelines at a Packers-Bears game. Madden stares into the picture. “I talk to those two guys all the time,” he said, still looking at it. “Every time I hear something that drives me crazy, I say, ‘Sorry George. Sorry Vince.’ I say that probably 20 times a day. There’s s— going on now that those two would roll over in their graves about.”

Thats alot of times a day for Madden to say anything besides “were out of toilet paper again” so I thought I could give you all some in sight as to what a typical couple minutes at Johns desk sounds like.

Madden sits down at desk. theres no computer he has a reel to reel that hes set up that just blasts the projector directly into his eyes but he still calls it his “computer”

Madden: (Farts. Looks embarrased) Sorry George. Sorry Vince.

Maddens got a poster on his wall reminding him off helpful exercises he can do at his desk to stay limber. One suggeston is “stand up like 4 times a daywithout making a weird old guy grunt.” He stands up hes totaly nude from the waste down again. Were talkin all-time sag city here. His nuts actualy make a sound when they drop down from standing up. He gets ashame. Pretty gross IMO

Madden: Sorry George. Sorry Vince.

Madden sits back down at desk for a nother five minutes at his computer just watching late ’90s packers games beamed direct in to his eyes.

Farve pulls his head up from under the desk and wipes his mouth.

Madden: Boom! Ah nuts. (Grabs fistfull of wetnaps and starts scrubbing the picture frame’s off) Sorry George. Sorry Vince.