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Paper towel dispensers across the South shuddered with fear today when the news broke that Sheetz bathroom terrorist Jeff Reed is attempting an NFL comeback with the Titans. Reed, 35, tells the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette  he was asked to come in for a workout at the behest of Tennesse Titans head coach Ken Whisenhunt and believes he still has what it takes to play in the NFL.

“I looked into the CFL and the Arena League,” Reed said. “It’s just a lot of work for little pay, and it sounds kind of shallow, but when you’ve played for the most elite level of football and you think you can still do it, why wouldn’t you?”

Reed last played during regular season for the San Francisco 49ers in 2010 after being released by the Pittsburgh Steelers midseason after a terrible outing against the New England Patriots where he missed multiple kicks then blamed the field conditions for his poor showing. He signed to the Seattle Seahawks in 2011 but was cut during training camp.

Why are we rooting for return, even if it’s a long shot for the Titans to sign an older kicker who has been out of the league for years? Because he’s the proto-Gronk, but if possible, even more shameless and entertaining. Let us take a look back at his career and remember all the good times we had with our favorite Troll Doll.

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Crashing a bachelorette party in Vegas, not posing for selfies like that whippersnapper Johnny Manziel. Could you imagine what Reed would have been like in the age of Instagram? You could have probably hired him out any weekend you wanted to chaperone you and your girls.

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The Jersey Shore era of Skippy’s hair. So tan, so willing to hang with his fans. You just don’t see that out of today’s kickers.

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We honestly just don’t get enough kicker dong these days.

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Before you had Gronk drunk at the Super Bowl, you had Reed drunk at the Super Bowl. Difference being, Reed at least won two Super Bowl rings.

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Would love to see what sort of back-peddling Lord Rog would have to do this time in his ALL SERIOUS FOOTBALL league the next time a kicker got into a fight with the local constable.

So come on, Coach Whisenhunt. Give the man an honest chance even though he looks more like this these days. If Jeff Reed believes he only belongs in the ELITE level of football, who are we to resist his powers.