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In order to get you through the drudgery of the off-season, we here at KSK are cranking up the nostalgia machine and looking at some of the immortal backup quarterbacks in NFL history. You’ve loved some of these guys, and utterly fucking loathed others, but you definitely remember them. Either way, you might be wondering what they’ve been up to since leaving their clipboard duties, so that’s why we proudly present our new series, Better Know A Backup Quarterback. Today, we look at former 49ers QB Jim Druckenmiller.

One completely random childhood memory that I have is watching John Madden announce a preseason game where the Niners were playing… someone. Anyone, after a lone Steve Young drive, the Niners sent in Jim Druckenmiller, their first-round pick, who was supposed to be Young’s successor. Madden made a comment about how long his name was: “it’s a good thing he’s a big guy, because if you had a little guy named Druckenmiller, you wouldn’t be able to it it across the top of his jersey.” This might have lead to the mildly amusing image of little children wearing Druckenmiller jerseys with the name stretched out awkwardly, but that would never be a problem, because Jim Druckenmiller fucking sucked.

How bad did he suck? Well, for starters, his career QB rating was 29.2, and his rating in his only start was 19.3. In fairness, this was in just his second career game, when he had to fill in for an injured Young against the Rams, but clearly, he didn’t show anything after to indicate he deserved another shot. He never played after 1997, and wasn’t on an NFL roster after 1998. So, his career lasted just two seasons, and only included meaningful action for one of those seasons. So, if you think Tim Tebow is the worst quarterback to be taken at the tail end of the first round, you are sadly mistaken.

Amazingly, Druckenmiller retired with a winning percentage of 100, since he somehow managed to win his lone career start, despite going 10-for-28 with one touchdown and three picks. The Niners squeezed out a 15-12 win thanks to a Garrison Hearst touchdown run at the very end. Did the Niners overcome Druckenmiller’s dreadfulness thanks to the talent they in the late ’90s, or because of how dreadful those Rams teams were? Honestly, it was probably a bit of both. In any event, Steve Young returned to the lineup the next week, and beyond some mop-up duty, we never heard from Jim Druckenmiler again.

Amusingly enough, if you google “Jim Druckenmiller,” the first suggestion is “hand size.” Yes, apparently Jim Druckenmiller had huge hands, and that was supposed to make him a good NFL quarterback. Of course, Kevin Kolb had pretty big hands, too, and we all know how that worked out. I’m guessing that if you’re a reasonably good QB, having huge hands does give you something of an advantage, but it probably can’t help you if you suck.

Jim Druckenmiller’s Ultimate Legacy: Making sure Marcus Vick isn’t the most disappointing QB to come out of Virginia Tech.