Arrest, incarceration, depression and suicidal thoughts are not the makings of a Best Week. But being able to reflect on the problems of the past while striving to become a role model for those still going through them? That’s the good stuff. Even though Tyrann Mathieu’s rookie season ended with a nasty knee injury, everything is looking up for the defensive back that a bunch of assholes deemed undraftable.
Mathieu’s story is a lot like that of this pig that jumped out of a moving truck on its way to the slaughterhouse (presumably).
OK, not really, I just love this fucking pig. Granted, I also love pig meat. I’m so conflicted. I just hope he didn’t break his collarbone. Or damage his delicious collar meat.
Worst Week goes to the unfortunate executives at HBO who have to try extra hard to make the Falcons look interesting if they want anyone actually watch Hard Knocks. The Falcons! This is what happens when you air a show for nine season. You eventually get stuck with the football equivalent of two scoops of vanilla ice cream with carob chips. The folks at NFL.com are trying their best to make this look like a big win for their network partner, going so far as to offering up seven reasons to watch this year’s show.
1. A franchise trying to rebound
Remember how hard they sucked last year?
2. Roddy White
OK, I’ll give you that one. Roddy will probably say something worthwhile at some point.
3. Bryan Cox and Mike Tice
We’re only at number three and you’re already dipping into the assistant coaching well? I’d rather sit through another episode of 24/7 with Andre Ward and Chad Dawson than watch Mike Tice chew on his pencil during an interminable coaches meeting.
4. Atlanta nightlife
The Falcons hold training camp in Flowery Branch, Georgia. Flowery Branch doesn’t even have it’s own Applebees.
5. Thomas Dimitroff, breaking the mold
Their GM is a motor cycle riding vegetarian. So is my uncle Ron. They should totally hang out.
6. Reality shows colliding
Kroy Biermann is on Real Housewives of Atlanta. I’m sure the two shows will have lots of viewers in common.
7. Steven Jackson
Not listed: A personable coach, a remotely interesting position battle, an interesting quarterback or a rookie that anyone cares about.
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.