When I woke up this morning I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Overnight,, America had itself a good old fashion racekakke and I knew I was going to have to be the one to towel up the mess. Well, here I am.
The Lamestream media is here today telling you me and everyone under the sun (is it still ok that we call it “the sun” or is it the “daughter” now?) 1. We should pay reperations for 200 years of goofing around to much on race relations 2. Mark Cubans a wuss but also racist 3. The Redskins should change there name by decree of the US Senate. I will adress all three claims so get youre popcorn ready.
Color me shocked that a leftwing East Coast Elite magazine is called “the Atlantic” folks because I guess they like to make waves. Well they went of the highdive at lowtide and penned a alltime stinker of a column that I didnt even have to read to tell you how wrong it is. You can read it here, it’s called “The Case for Reperations” but I wouldnt reccomend it. The way these things work is they trick you in with clickbait, and then they get you to agree with there premise after reading a long, thoughtful essay. Nice try. Its really a first rate job in trolling by them to right something that will make me disagree with it so much that I wont read it, so I have to take my hat of there. Well heres my take:
WHITE PEOPLE ARE THE ONES WHO ACTUALLY DESERVE REPERATIONS
Do I have your attention now?
Heck, I mean heck, I’ll take it one step farther. Heck, I think that WHITE people have just as strong a case for reparations as Black folks. Dont believe me? Then I guess youve never heard of a little something called “facts” and their leigitimate children, numbers. I can very easily make the case with numbers that apply to ME personally. I have lost money because of other people calling me racist. I am forced to respond to everyone calling me racist all the time just because Im white and not PC. That takes hours out’ve the time that Im suppose to be working, and when my boss catches me, I lose REAL money. Not fake money that I never had. That money is more important, and better, then money from a thousand years ago or whenever racism use to be real.
But just to play Devils advocate Ill pretend that you didnt agree with me. Fair enough, minorities, you dont owe me any money for all your discrimination. But let me address your claim now.
Here are reasons I dont think other people should get money:
- Its not fair to me if I dont get money to. I hate communism
- I personaly never owned a slave except my dog who I named “Slave” as a joke but then someone told me that was racist so I changed it and never asked anyone for a medal just because I did the right thing
- Racism was bad but there are other things that are also bad that happened. People forget that.
2. Mark Cuban
Heres what everyone is up in arms about with Dallas Mavricks owner Mark Cuban. He said: “If I see a black kid in a hoodie … I’m walking to the other side of the street.”
Mark Cuban is sick and tired of getting bullied to the other side of the street by people who are cold. But he also said he’d cross the street if he saw a White guy with face tattoos. Mark Cubans just spending all day crossing the street to avoid people that he thinks suck. He’s basically saying that the way he acts is like if you had to walk through a real life episode of Sex and The City.
First of all everyone in the world accept for White people need to make up there minds: Sometimes you call us racist for crossing the street to avoid a gangsta looking kid in a striped polo shirt, some kind of shoes, and a backpack,, but next thing you know were racist for NOT crossing the street to willingly live in your communitys. Make up your minds, enough with the double standards.
Today I learend that Mark Cuban is not hispanic. He is however pressing his hams up to the window of America which makes him as much of a Cuban as anyone. If your named after a different nationality, then you cant be racist or else your just arguing against yourself. Technicaly the only people in America who can be called the real racists are folks with the last name “White.” Case dismissed- not racist.
3. Redskins/U.S. Senate
This morning 50 US Senators singed a letter saying that Dan Snyder should change the name of the Washington Redskins just because the team was given that name by a segregatonist who hired a coach who stole the identity of a dead Indian so he could dodge the draft in WWI and made him dress up in clown gear out of respect and tradition for the name “Redskin.” The name clearly has nothing to do with race.
Well heres MY take- if Black people should get reperations for Slavery then White people logicially, should get reperations for all the Redskins clothes and stuff that they bought back when it was ok to be racist. You cant change the rules on us halfway through the game otherwise thats not fair and youll owe me money down the line. If we pay reperations to Black people then its only natural that we should later pay reperatons to White people for having to make us pay reperations to Black people. I can play this game all day long and it gets us nowhere.
If your still not convinced that all this Whiteman shaming might not be a great idea, heres some facts for you about other things that at leased 50 Senators have agreed on. You tell me if they were the right choice in hindisght:
- -To not do WW2 before they changed there minds (known as the “Hitler might be good” doctrine)
- -The REAL Indian Removal act which is ironic because now there voting to remove Redskin. You tell me which is more racist.
- -They literaly voted that beer was bad and you cant drink it anymore
So forgive me if Im not exactly swooning over something that 50 soon-to-be voted out Senators did. People are forgetting that Native Americans fought and killed many White people during wars when they were trying to defend there land that they didn’t even know we had allready taken away.
In conclusion, Racism no longer exists in America and if it does even a little bit, its not that big of a deal because it makes white people feel uncomfortable to admit it, so thats technicaly bullying.
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.