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Who is Alex Trebek?

No, really — who is this man? And how did a milquetoast Canadian-American game show host find himself being used as a pawn by a certain Washington football team to defend their continued use of a highly-debated mascot?

 

So many statements just waiting to be answered in the form of a question. First off, who knew Trebek was capable of spitting such hot takes? Second, the Lakers and Redskins? Did someone start watching sports in the 80s?

KSK hasn’t reached out to Trebek to get clarification on his stance, but if we did, I have a feeling it would go a little something like this:

KSK: So it looks like a powerful D.C. organization has taken to Twitter in an attempt to save face amid some pretty negative PR they’ve been receiving recently.

Alex Trebek: What is “the Office of the President?”

KSK: Uh…well, this interview took a negative turn pretty quick.

Trebek: What is “something your date said about you last night?”

KSK: Wow, what a dick.

Trebek: Who is “Ken Jennings?”

KSK: I need to start over.

Trebek: What was “the last thing your dad said to your mom?”

KSK: So, this issue is something that won’t seem to go away.

Trebek: What is “the bastardization of a once great nation?”

KSK: A number of U.S. Senators recently signed a letter urging Washington owner Dan Snyder to change his team’s name.

Trebek: Who are “50 pinko libs?”

KSK: Feelings have changed in this country since the team was originally named.

Trebek: What are “feelings?”

KSK: Many Native Americans take issue with the team’s name. They feel it’s racist.

Trebek: What is “crying it’s a sign of weakness?”

KSK: I really hope that isn’t a Trail of Tears pun.

Trebek: What is “it to you, pussy?”

KSK: Bruce Allen…

Trebek: Who is “someone with a goddamn backbone?”

KSK: The letter to Senator Harry Reid.

Trebek: What is “something that made me erect?”

KSK: Let’s change the subject. The Patriots seem to be making moves during the offseason.

Trebek: Who are “the Koch brothers?”

KSK: Fuck me.

Trebek: Who is “no one since college?”