NFL Draft Football

After making a bunch of calls and hours of draftnik discussion, we finally got it. Our 2014 mock draft version 12.3.

1. Houston Texans – Johnny Pigfucker

pig

2. St. Louis Rams (from Washington Redskins) – Ha Ha Handwank

3. Jacksonville Jaguars – Ed Vagcheese

vagche

4. Cleveland Browns – Ronnie Dicknose

5. Oakland Raiders – Jim Frotter III

6. Atlanta Falcons – D’Anthony Fartnoise

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Stephon Tiny Penis

tiny

8. Minnesota Vikings – Max Kinkytaint

9. Buffalo Bills – Mark “CTE” Anderson

10. Detroit Lions – Kelvin Cocksore

11. Tennessee Titans – Blake Bortles

bort

12. New York Giants – Joel Enwurd

13. St. Louis Rams – Andre Cinnamontit

14. Chicago Bears – Dontrelle Dingus

dingus

15. Pittsburgh Steelers – Jean-Phillipe Clickbait

16. Dallas Cowboys – Sammy Pudd

17. Baltimore Ravens – Taylor Sexcrimes

18. New York Jets – Yonic Flowerpussy

19. Miami Dolphins – Kyle Thundercunt

20. Arizona Cardinals – Damian Buttlord

buttlord

21. Green Bay Packers – Colton Burpo

22. Philadelphia Eagles – Trai Godcunt

23. Kansas City Chiefs – Alphonso Size-Queen

24. Cincinnati Bengals – Subway Anthony Barr


25. San Diego Chargers – DiGiorno Pizza

26. Cleveland Browns (from Indianapolis Colts) – Alfred Dickbutt

cledb

27. New Orleans Saints – Louis Retard

28. Carolina Panthers – Davante Dong

29. New England Patriots – Whitepower Racism

patspick

30. San Francisco 49ers – Will Fuqonthafurstdate

31. Denver Broncos – DaQuan Deepthroat

32. Seattle Seahawks – Nineeleven Wasaninsidejob