beastmovie

I think we can all agree that one of the NFL personalities most deserving of their own movie is Marshawn Lynch, he of the beast moding and Skittles powerups and innumerable great quotes. So good news! He is, in fact, getting his own movie. Not only will the movie be about Marshawn, but it will star him as well. I suppose that eliminates the need to find an actor who can feign excitement for Applebee’s.

Lynch is starring in a biopic about himself. “Family First” will chronicle his rise from Oakland youth to NFL star.

“Just trying something new,” Lynch said.

Family First will also feature NFL quarterback Josh Johnson, a childhood friend of Lynch who signed with the 49ers on Thursday. Actor Delroy Lindo, an Oakland resident, may also be in the movie. Relativity Media has already purchased the rights to the PG-13 film, which is slated for release at the end of the calendar year.

PG-13? Is this going to be an uplifting thing?

He believes he’s stereotyped for his dreadlocks and gold teeth and inner-city mannerisms, which explains why his mistakes get more attention than his good deeds. So Lynch is looking to put his story in context through this movie.

It is going to be an uplifting thing! That’s too bad. Marshawn certainly has the right to depict himself in a positive light, though that may come at the sake of entertainment value. One better way to think about this project is as a version of “A Star is Burns” starring Marshawn Lynch. “AY YO, DRINK DAT SHIT, JUDAH BEN-HUR!”

If nothing else, I’ll be satisfied if there’s a highly stylized scene recounting this episode of Beast Mode.