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Hooray, more ugliness from the Greg Hardy assault arrest. Hardy called 911 the night of the incident and claimed she was being violent and that he was trying to get her to leave the house, though calls to police from neighbors seem to support the allegation that Hardy was violent toward his girlfriend.

As for the allegations, Hardy’s girlfriend contends that Hardy’s rage was the result of a relationship she had with Nelly back in March, which may or may not be true, but it does allow everyone to rehash their decade-old Nelly jokes, which is nice.


– The Seahawks make their championship White House visit next Wednesday. Finally, Pete Carroll is going to lay out his entire 9/11 conspiracy to President Obama. Make sure to catch it all on CSPAN. He’ll have slides and everything.

– It’s not even technically in our purview yet, but who cares: here’s surveillance video of Jameis Winston stealing crab legs.

– Tony Romo said he wasn’t worried about the speculation that the Cowboys were going to draft Johnny Manziel because, he said, no one could beat him out for the starting job. Also, Romo has tens of millions still left in guaranteed money so why would he give that much of a shit?

– The Browns signed receivers Earl Bennett and Miles Austin. If this were four years ago, the Austin signing would be impressive. And the Bennett signing would be… well… about as exciting as it is now.

– If you’re in the New York area, you can adopt a cat named Eli Manning. That is, until Archie forces you to surrender it to another household after the fact.