fedex

Just a top-notch horrific drinking story from this Reddit thread:

– The Vikings signed first round picks Teddy Bridgewater and Anthony Barr. Now all that remains for the off-season is filling the walls of Mike Zimmer’s office with trophy buck heads.

– The Buccaneers become the fifth team being sued by a former cheerleader for not paying them minimum wage commensurate to the hours they worked. I think we need an Andy Warhol-type aphorism that states, “In the future, everyone will be suing the NFL.”

– AT&T’s acquisition of DirecTV is hinging on whether the satellite cable company can extend its Sunday Ticket deal with the NFL. While there is concern that it might not get done, reports are saying it’s likely that the two sides will reach a 20-year extension on the deal, which is nice because I’m too lazy to change cable companies.

– RGIII posted a video message to Redskins fans on Facebook that contains a lot of text with random capitalization plus the hastag #KnowYourWhy so I’ll just make it clear that there’s no way I’m watching it.

– The Buccaneers become the fifth team being sued by a former cheerleader for not paying them minimum wage commensurate to the hours they worked. I think we need an Andy Warhol-type aphorism that states, “In the future, everyone will be suing the NFL.”

– The Cowboys are hopeful that Kyle Orton will opt to attend the team’s mandatory minicamp rather than retire. For them, it’s still too early to face the reality of Doopy Pantz actually getting snaps in the regular season.