Johnny Manziel spent his break from Cleveland OTA’s in Las Vegas because he wanted to make sure that ESPN had some good nonsense to argue about. Also, because he is Johnny Manziel and Las Vegas remains Las Vegas. Using equal parts social media and educated guesses, we were able to piece together Manziel’s Memorial Day getaway.

Friday afternoon: End of the last OTA session of the week, get the hell out of Cleveland before anyone tries to rope him in to some charity bullshit.

Friday evening: Wheels down in Vegas! Crush a sixer between the airport and the hotel.

Friday night: Dinner with the bros, probably at STK because steakhouses without 20 hostesses who may moonlight as hookers are gay.

Later Friday night: Vape.

Saturday morning: Bottomless bloodies and mimosas at the pool. Pose for pictures with Pauly D.

Saturday midday: Skype with Drake, then pass out in the cabana for a couple of hours.

Saturday post-nap: Rose o’clock.

Saturday afternoon: Do the OVO finger thing.


Saturday night: Ringside with Dana White for some UFC action, spend the entire undercard texting with Drake.


Later Saturday night: Shower.

Sunday morning: Gather around the television to watch Mark Brunell make a complete ass of himself.

Monday morning: Wheels up. Stick it to all of the haters with an in-flight cram session.

Moments later: Staying humble over here, Wilbon.


Tuesday morning: Dry-heave, then get after it at OTA’s.