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Maybe it was the ring that knocked her out.

Nobody around the league had anything truly outstanding happen to them, so Best Week goes to Ray Rice by default. Rice will avoid the mess of a trial (and jail time too, most likely) for allegedly knocking his fiancee (now wife) out cold, if he completes a one-year pretrial intervention program. That may seem light given Rice’s alleged crime, but that’s just because we don’t have all of the facts. New shit has come to light.

Today Rice will face the public at a press conference with the full support of the Baltimore Ravens behind him. Now he just needs to find Jesus and dance around like a spastic asshole and the ESPN job will be waiting for him when he retires.

Broncos practice at Dove Valley

Awww, everything was going so well for TJ Ward. He found his way out of Cleveland, he made a lot of money, and he wound up in Denver. He was already growing out his beard and going shopping at that one store where everyone in Denver shops. Then he went and got into a fight at the Centerfold strip club (maybe don’t click on that link). And about that strip club…

The hottest full nude strip club in Denver is PT’s All Nude! Our club features 5 stages for the sexy ladies which emote excitement. Our recent remodel features lounge-style seating in comfortable couches where you can watch the action around you.

You guys, the sexy ladies emote excitement. We need to go to this place immediately. I can tell why TJ got so emotional. The ladies, man. The naked ladies, man. They emote.

So while Landon Donovan had a really shitty week, TJ Ward had the Worst Week. Now if we could all stop punching other people, that’d be great.