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Hey fans, it’s me, your good friend and NFL commissioner, Roger Goodell. I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news: despite my best efforts, public respect for The Shield is at an all-time low, according to a bunch of eggheads at Research University.

A scientific survey of all world people currently living found that no one respects The NFL Shield anymore and when the average person sees it, they feel like leaving their chewed gum on it and then being really upset about CTE. Rather than watch football, 100 percent of those surveyed said they’re rather just see three hours of goalpost dunks and unsportsmanlike conduct.

There’s only one thing I can do: hang it up and concede that I ruined the game everybody loved. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive your old buddy. It’s been a fun ride, but I know when I’m licked. I did the best I can but I’m only a humble senator’s son.

This is it, just gonna go now.

That’s it. I’m going.

HAHAHA OFF-SEASON FOOL’S. I SURE PULLED YER LEG GOOD ON THAT ONE.

Anyway, rest easy, folks and we’ll see you in May for the draft. Remember to #Play60 until then.