Mike Glennon Is Your Ugly Bowl Champion, Earth Still Revolving Around The Sun, Sky Still Blue
Surprising nobody, Mike Glennon of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers has defeated Doopy Pantz and secured the Ugly Bowl Championship. Though there may have been other truly fierce competitors in this tournament, Mike Glennon never stumbled on his way to the finals, and easily dispatched all his opponents to bring home the gold. His freckles, his weirdly long face, and his giraffe neck all worked in tandem, in perfect disharmony to springboard Glennon past other contenders like Matt Schaub and the ever-popular Jeff Baca.
So congratulations, Glennon. Enjoy your victory, and all the wonderful prizes that come with it*.
*a coupon for 5 dollars off a purchase of 20 dollars or more at any Tampa Bay area Subway