And that lunatic is me folks.

Thats right with little to no REAL sports goign on during the NFL off season (even though there technicaly is no off season in the NFL), my leasure time pursuits lead me elsewhere. And this week it took me to a place that even I thought Id never go- designing and trademarking sex toys.

By now we’re all familiar with what happened with US Airs twitter account last week: some people complained to them about there flight to Tampa having not enough catheters on it to make a beer bong or something, and US Air responded by posting a picture of a nice young lady putting a model airplane in her “hangar.” (Dont click that if your at work and they dont want you watching plane-porn.)

Im somewhat of a brand expert. I know how to maximize ROI and consumer engagement and let me tell you- tweeting out hardcore pornography could of been used to expand US Airs footprint if they had the balls to just kind’ve roll with it after they sent that image out there. I have two problems with there handling of it- Number 1- its a bad move to fire the guy whose posted it. That guy showed ironically OUT of the box thinking by posting that. Numebr 2- you need to own your mistakes. What better way to do that as a fun little way of saying “my bad” then to actualy design a vibrating model plane and sell it with your brand on it?

Your the naughty airline now. You need to embrace that new culture that differentates you from the frigid squares over at “Virgin.”

Of course they havent taken step 1 towards designing a US Air theme sextoy, there too busy apologizing and pretending that there customers never have sex or look at porn. I even told online sexshop Adam & Eve about my idea over the weekend but you snooze you lose IMO.

So here it is, I designed it for all you lovley ladies out there- the vibrating model plane-

usair

I named it “The Turbulence” at the suggeston of my internet web friend Jake.

This is my tm idea so if they want 2 buy it from me it will cost them but Im a reasonable type guy. I dont even need gaurenteed money I’ll take a performance based contract since Im so confident that this idea will deliver in the clutch.