drafthats

Draft hats are always ugly. In keeping with tradition, this year is no exception. The 2014 edition comes with a bunch of crap written on the brim. Nevertheless, you need draft hats to see which prospects wear them backwards so pundits know the glory boyz from the lunchpailers.

— Megatron said he intends to continue doing the slam dunk TD celebration this season, but plans to get away with it by not touching the goalpost. Roger Goodell would get around this by raising the goalposts another 30 feet but he’ll just go ahead and fine Calvin Johnson for Thought Crime instead.

— Teddy Bridgewater can collect an extra $5 million if he falls out of the first round of the draft and can prove he has an injury, according to the terms of an insurance policy he took out. Probably the closest thing you can get to smokescreen insurance.

— Ray Rice’s arraignment, which was initially scheduled for today, has been pushed back to Thursday. Probably so the NFL can market it as Arraignment Day with a three-hour special on NFL Network.

— KOMMENTER KLATCH! A group of kommenters are meeting up in L.A. to bid farewell to WhyEaglesWhy before he departs for Australia. Here are the details:

3 p.m. Sunday, May 4

Rock & Brews in El Segundo (Yes the place owned by the KISS guys, but Yeah Right swears they have a good beer selection and typical bar fair in a great atmosphere. Plus, odds are greater we’ll see a Ryan brother at a KISS bar.)

— Vince Young will get a tryout with the Browns during minicamp this week. Strong addition to the Factory of Sadness.

— Get your brisket candle! Brisket candle here!

— Michael Robinson is contemplating retirement. The loss of the Real Rob Report will be strongly felt.