Certificate Of Merit April 15

Last week everyone was off their game. Understandable. It’s the offseason and everything is terrible. This week? This week I nearly tinkled myself laughing at everyone in the KILL KILL KILL thread when a North American White-Tail Deer truther showed up to say that Ape was going to get mauled by a certain cervidae. Deer truthers. Hard to believe that has to be a thing, but here we are as a society. As Kommenter Hobo Spices said, “Is this what the Internet has come to? You can’t make fun of a fucking DEER without some troll swooping in to bitch about it?”

(Then again, I was accused of fat-shaming a groundhog by my sister-in-law last year so what do I know.)

To the weekly funnies!

KSK Kontent Klearinghouse: Gronk Goes Double Meat

Moose (The Thread Ender)

I like the typo; it sounds like a redneck expression: “Well I’ll be a god damned Randy Moss!”

Aldon Smith Reportedly Arrested For Yelling Bomb At An Airport

Mike Wallace and Gromit

This whole situation could have been avoided if Alex Smith was still QB for the Niners. Certainly no claims of bombs in that system.

Colin Kaepernick Among Three NFL Players Being Investigated For Sexual Assault

Duchess

Reddit Sports has already gone though everyone’s Facebook post near the hotel and claim they found a suspicious 13 yr old Arab guy who could be the real culprit.

Sweaty Gretchen

WHO’S LAUGHING AT THE GABBERT TRADE NOW, BITCHES! – Whoever the 49ers GM is.

(Reply) Stabby Pants
“My Ferrari has been impounded, but I’m not worried because I have this rusted out Vega with three wheels in my garage.’

This is a great idea. How do we make it happen?

KSK Kontent Klearinghouse: Costner Bombs

Skim172

I still contend that the Pro Bowl would be far more exciting if we pitted the NFL All-Pros against the best of the CFL. Because it’d be fun – and patriotic – to see Canada’s best get crushed mercilessly.

And if the CFL didn’t get crushed, then that would be surprising, but also very fun to watch.

Brandon Spikes Versus Twitter Massholes

Hobo Spices

You never have to worry when the Bills Mafia puts out a hit on you: they’ll get four consecutive shots at it and still never finish the job.

An Interview with the Man Who Got Tattled On By ESPN Idiot Darren Rovell

WhyEaglesWhy

PFTCommenter’s PhD in Taeks was granted by Ball So Hard U, naturally.

Long Time Listener

I send all of Rovell’s tweets to Santa Claus, who forwards them to Jesus. So Rovell’s in trouble.

The Bills Are Bad At Keeping Secrets

Zymm

This is the first year where I’m not entirely sure what I’ll be doing for Thanksgiving, at least now I have a mediocre 3 hours accounted for.

The Barge of Broken Dreams

Bills-Lions that Thanksgiving dish that no one likes but everyone feels obligated to make anyway.