Certificate Of Merit April 9

After last week’s stellar showing, the Kommentariat slowed down some this week as the spring pre-draft doldrums rolled on. A good showing in the Mock Draft: Gym Class Activities helped everyone over the hump, but the lack of football is starting to show in all of our lives.

Then again, it could have been worse. As Hobo Spices noted in Sexy Friday Needs A Drink (of male hunks), “The Kommentartiat seems to be taking it a lot better than the baseball posts.”

Greg Bedard Thinks He Could Have Stopped Aaron Hernandez From Murdering

Cuntler

THIS GREG BEDARD, I CALL HIM DAVY CROCKETT AT THE ALAMO BECAUSE HE GREATLY OVERESTIMATES HIS ABILITY TO KEEP MEXICANS FROM KILLING PEOPLE.

KSK Sits Down With DRAFT DAY Screenwriters Scott Rothman and Rajiv Joseph

Sill Bimmons

Watching Browns fans trying to talk themselves into Johnny Manziel is the Saddest thing on the production line at the Factory.

Best Week/Worst Week: DeSean Jackson and Donald Trump

Zymm

If Trump bought the Redskins he would probably change their names to the Trumps, since he sticks his stupid name on everything. Then, no one would be happy!

Suggested Phrases For Johnny Manziel To Trademark

Clueheywood

Johnny Loves Chachi

KSK Kontent Klearinghouse: Here Are Your Headlines. Take ‘Em

Make It Snow

I really hate this trend of asking interviewees to complete impossible tasks, like “Calculate how many windows there are in Chicago,” or “Catch a pass from Jim Harbaugh.”

Down With The Mock Draft Industrial Complex!

Troll-So-Hard University

Once Blake Bortles is in the NFL, I think that Old James should take him under his wing and write a weekly column detailing their adventures. It could be called “Bortles and Old James.”