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He’s not in a gang, he’s a six-fingered bear.

DeSean Jackson’s week started with his team leaking a story about their concerns over his ties to some Crips. Then that team cut him. Then one of their biggest rivals paid him a bunch of money to get revenge on the first team without any of his friends having to go inside.

DeSean’s arrival was such a big deal in Washington, that it threatened to upstage the arrival of my first born in my very own family. Yes, everyone was really excited about the baby, but his tiny ass isn’t catching 9 touchdown passes anytime ever.

 

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You look like a poor person dressed up as a rich person for Halloween.

An entire week went by, so of course Donald Trump gave everyone an opportunity to point out what an asshole he is. He inserted himself into this week’s news cycle by telling everyone how some serious business types approached him about investing in a dead man’s football team. Nobody gives a shit, Donald. Even if you were to become an NFL owner it would be as a minority investor. And we all know you’d never associate with minorities outside of Apprentice. Go back to pretending to run for president and leave football alone.