AntonioCromartie

There are birthdays and then there are birthdays. Apparently not content to let Darnell Dockett have all the fun with “little people” dancers, Antonio Cromartie took things one step further this weekend in Vegas because of course it happened in Vegas. During a birthday bash with his wife and pals, Cromartie was pulled up on stage for a little Happy Birthday lap dance from some high-falutin’ celebrities, according to TMZ, like, “Mini Rihanna, Mini Kanye (no, really), and Mini Miley.” Though for all we know it may have been really Miley Cyrus. And what’s up with that giant mouse?

Whether or not Cromartie mistook the dancers for three of his many children isn’t known. But paragon of journalism TMZ Sports does have video for us so there’s that.

Happy Monday and see you in my nightmares.