seats

San Francisco’s Bay Area Rapid Transit – more commonly known as BART – is installing some new trains. There’s just one problem; the seats on these trains happen to be blue and green – the colors of the Seattle Seahawks, the Niners’ most hated rival over the past few years. As a result, these new trains are causing a lot of outrage from angry football fans who don’t know what to do with themselves until September.

This is what happens when there’s no actual football to care about; fans are so desperate for something to take way too seriously that they’ll latch to any cause they can find, even if it’s something as wholly unrelated as train seats.

Of course, it gets a bit deeper than that; ever since the Seawhawks-Niners rivalry became a thing in 2012, it seems like fans from both sides are desperate to make sure this becomes the Biggest Rivalry In Sports. Look, for the past two seasons, the animosity between the two teams has been ridiculously entertaining. You have two teams that are really, really good, and also absolutely cannot fucking stand each other. That’s basically the formula for really, really good sports. But there’s no point in getting pissed off about every little thing just to artificially amp up the rivalry. This isn’t as big as Packers-Bears yet, and freaking out over inconsequential shit like this won’t change that.

Does anyone really think the actual BART riders are going think about this for even a second while they’re on the train? No! They’re going to be thinking a combination of three things:

- Oh crap, I’m late for work

- Why is that one douche taking up two seats when this train is crowded as fuck and he can’t possibly weigh more than 150 pounds?

- How does this train smell like pee already when we’ve only been using it for two weeks?