Cetificate Of Merit March 10

Welcome to the KSK Kommentariat, where stalwarts like Old School Zero ask, “How are we supposed to be funny if we actually inform ourselves by reading things fully?” That’s a pretty deep question Zero, but here is a theory. It’s easy to mock what we know little about, but it’s better to make an informed joke that cuts to a universal truth in any situation. Of course, this runs the risk of learning too much suddenly not finding anything funny in a situation (see also: Humorless Wonks), but all one has to do is realize we’re all going to die in the end rendering everything pointless so you may as well laugh at the absurdity of existence anyway.

I am your host Sarah Sprague and these are the notable comments for the week ending March 10, 2014.

Before we get to the individual comments, two outstanding threads should be recognized. Every single “The Flow” joke in Blaine Gabbert Is The 49ers’ Problem Now and how they relate to menstruation was gold and all of the plans for your partners in How Are You Celebrating Free Agency Day? turned into great belly laugh. Great team effort on both posts, Kommentariat.

Free Agency Day MVP: Fake Adam Schefter Account

Beastmode Ate My Baby

7. I think fake Twitter accounts, or as I call them, “Twakers,” (that always gets a big laugh from everyone here at he MMQB offices) should be banned. Do something, Congress!

How Are You Celebrating Free Agency Day?

Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo

PFT commenters go on CareerBuilder and complain that anyone applying to any job ever are just in it for the money.

Kill Kill Kill: The Albatross Family Suffers a Loss

William Charles Schneider

This needs a clip of the albatross mother slapping and verbally berating the albatross chief of police for not closing the beaches despite a shark in the area.

Tecmo Super Bowl Tournament This Weekend: R E A D Y !

OffseasonChamp

My older brother and I liked to play through seasons with each of us controlling one team from each conference. Weeks of build up always led to one highly-charged and glorious Super Bowl showdown.
Once, because he was older, he convinced me that instead of pressing B to take a touchback off a kickoff, I could just stand there and get tackled. I did. Safety. Two points and the ball to him. I couldn’t believe it.

And that’s the story of how how we had to prop up the AV cable with a cartridge for the rest of its life because I threw a Sega Genesis at my brother.

30 Weekends Without Football: 4 Weekends Down, 26 More To Go

Enrico Pallazzo

Brett Favre down, Clinton Portis to go…SMH

Some Oregon Residents Want Their Governor To Maybe Think About Bringing The Raiders To Portland

Cuntler

Based on their diet of forties and failure, I assume most Raiders fans from California would die of dysentery on trail up to Portland anyway.

GRUDEN TALK: Jon and Herm Discuss Ukraine With Former Ambassador John Tefft

MythReindeer

THIS VLADIMIR PUTIN, I CALL HIM MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY BECAUSE HE HATES SHIRTS AND GETS THE APPROVAL OF YOUNG BUSH

SonOfSpam

THIS RUSSIA I CALL IT HAYDEN PANETTIERE, BECAUSE YOU THINK IT’S KINDA HARMLESS SINCE YOU FORGOT ABOUT IT FOR A WHILE, BUT WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT, IT TURNS AROUND AND FUCKS UKRAINIANS.

KSK Kontent Klearinghouse: Knowshon Moving On

ThePirateSloth

Darkest Timeline Peyton: he plays for the Cowboys and has won 7 Super Bowls.