Last name: Clowney
Weight: 266 lbs
Position: Defensive end
College: South Cackalacky
High school: South Pointe (SC)
Famous alumni: Two other Gamecocks
Parents: Josenna Clowney and David Morgan
Girlfriend: Former Atlanta Hawks dancer Kirsten Hardy, assuming Player Wives is as reliable a source as ever.
Major: African-American Studies
What that means: He spends a lot of time explaining why the Confederate Flag isn’t cool.
40 yard dash: 4.53
Height and Weight: 6’5″ 266 lbs.
Didn’t you already say that: It bears repeating in light of this new information.
What his Twitter bio tells us: Nobody told him that South Carolina is two words.
What his tweets tell us: He’s got better shit to do than tweet.
Appropriate song that accompanies his YouTube highlight video: Black Skinhead, because he’s black and from South Carolina.
Nicest comparison: Mean Julius Peppers
Meanest comparison: Regular Julius Peppers, I guess.
“Effort” comparison: Randy Moss
Strengths: Insanely strong, fast and explosive.
Weaknesses: Motor, desire and a certain JJ Wattness.
Loved by: People who like football.
Hated by: People who earn a living talking about football.
Where he’ll go: St. Louis
What scouts are saying: No good lazy piece of…HOLY SHIT, LOOKIT THAT 40 TIME!
What Nolan Nawrocki is (probably) saying: Until he proves that he isn’t the green-eared spaghetti monster, we have to assume that he could be.
Impact: Shows up to camp in slightly less than perfect shape, dominates.
Top image via Deadspin
I want more like this!
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