The New York/New Jersey Super Bowl host committee has gone all out for the big XVLIII, putting their best and brightest minds together to come up with unique slogans, images and fashion choices that truly encapsulate what it means to be a New York Super Bowl.

Obviously they failed spectacularly, or we wouldn’t be writing this post. What does it take to be a Super Bowl XLVIII catchphrase? Apparently a nod to style, the outdoors and not much else.

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Rain Sleet or Hail Mary

Just hate it when Hail Marys rain down on my postal worker and he’s has to struggle through the elements to my mailbox. So the game will go on, rain, sleet or hail mary, except for that whole part where there is an emergency plan in place to hold the game on Saturday or Monday if there is a super storm.

 

Fashionably Late

You Say 48 Years, We Say Fashionably Late

A nod to Mercedes-Benz New York Fashion Week, but somehow I cannot imagine Anna Wintour ever giving her glare of approval to a t-shirt flared at the hips with block lettering in heather gray.

It may have taken a while for the Super Bowl to come to New York and New Jersey, but you’ve been ready for this moment since you started watching football. Show your excitement for Super Bowl XLVIII in style with this Fashionably Late T-shirt. This tri-blend V-neck tee features “You Say 48 Years, We Say Fashionably Late” lettering and a Super Bowl XLVIII logo. Make sure everybody notices that you’re amped for the big game by wearing this sweet tee!

Everyone will notice you, as you will be the only fool in a short-sleeve walking Broadway in February. Ignore their confused looks as you suffer for fashion, frostbite is very in this season.

Dont Be Left Inside

Don’t Be Left Inside

Not for nothing — to use a New York term — but the price of luxury suites at MetLife Stadium are reaching new highs. Why? Because they’re inside.

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We’ve Got This One Uncovered

I’m sorry, but that seems like a phrase better suited for these two fine New Yorkers.

Lennie and Logan

Awww, Lennie. We miss you. Bet you would have had the best zingers regarding the ten dead hookers found outside of the Bud Light Cruise Ship.

And just so you don’t think the NFL hasn’t gone far enough with their is terrible ideas about what makes football, fashion and New York work together, NYC institution Bloomingdales, Council of Fashion Designers of America and The Shield commissioned a line of haute couture helmets for your Super Bowl XLVIII party.

 New York Skyline Helmet

Since the Bloomies design team might annoy the person sitting behind you, may I recommend the Nicole Miller?

Nicole Miller Flower Helmet

Perfect high fashion choice. Worried about your budget? A quick stop at Michael’s and the Sports Authority and you should be able to make your own low-cost, high concept knock-off in no time. Easier than the John Varvatos which requires a blowtorch and a nail gun.

Call it a New York City  ”attitude” all you want NFL, you’ve changed since you moved to the city. You’ve changed, man.