The Super Bowl is famous for two things: football, according to your dad. And the commercials, to appease your mom. And nothing is more marketable to the American consumer, especially during a football game, than beer. Thanks to YouTube, we’re able to take a look back at some of these beer commercials of Super Bowls past.

There have been some classics, some catchphrases, and the folks at Anheuser-Busch (and the ad agencies under their employ) have been responsible for a good deal of them. But what happens to the stars of these TV spots once the limelight has started shining elsewhere? Let’s catch up with them, shall we?

Budweiser Frogs

Catchphrase: “Bud.” “Weis.” “Er.”

Era: Mid 90s

Where Are They Now: Since disbanding in the early aughts, each has gone their separate way. “Bud” recently moved to Boulder, hoping to use his 15 minutes to help sell a line of novelty bongs (if you can call punctured BEER brand beer cans “bongs”). “Weis” recently reached an out-of-court settlement with the embattled University of Kansas football coach he shares a name with, since Charlie’s flatulence was a direct violation of his trademarked slogan. “Er” is teaching public speaking at a specialized $50,000/year boarding school for pre-teens suffering from ADD.

Bud Bowl Beers

Catchphrase: N/A

Era: Late 80s

Where Are They Now: Most of the bottles of Budweiser ended up getting consumed during an after-party on the set of “Roseanne”. The Bud Light ended up in a Burbank motel room one rainy night, where lowered inhibitions gave way to passion, and a broken condom gave way to Ke$ha.

Wassup Guys

Catchphrases:

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup.”

“True”

Era: Late 90s/Early 2000s

Where Are They Now: After kicking his pornography habit during a stay at Promises, we’re happy to report Dookie is once again a fully functioning member of society. The rest are laying low, a couple in WITSEC even, thanks to a series of savage beatings at the hands of humorless midwestern housewives married to recovering frat boys who just couldn’t let a joke go.

Budweiser Ants

Catchphrase: N/A

Era: Mid 90s

Where Are They Now: Most haven’t spoken to each other since that night, as is the way with underground orgies. Several started families, a few traveled the world. One is even a Florida state Senator.

Pitbull

Catchphrase: “Don’t Stop The Party”

Era: Early 2010s

Where Are They Now: There’s an old adage on the sea: a good Capitan will go down with his ship. Is Pitbull really a certified Capitan? Can a man-made vessel withstand the torque generated from 4,000 liquor distributors trying to twerk each other simultaneously? Time will tell, I guess.

Bud Light Lime Bros

Catchphrase: “I got it in the can.”

Era: Early 2010s

Where Are They Now: Following Dane Cook on tour, provided the venue isn’t within 500 feet of a school.

Spuds MacKenzie

Catchphrase: N/A

Era: Late 80s

Where Are They Now: Everything he made in oil futures trading eventually went up his snout, so these days Spuds spends most of his time on the motivational speaking circuit. Does he have regrets? Who doesn’t? But they say a good story is worth $50, and until his anecdote about getting pinched at a rattlesnake fight on the outskirts of Nacogdoches with Merle Haggard stops killing, that’s the price you’ll pay, middle-aged salesmen. The continental breakfast is free, though.

Bud Ice Penguin

Catchphrase: “Doo-be-doobie-doo.”

Era: Mid-to-late 90s

Where Are They Now: Lying in wait, deep in your sub-conscious, urging you to reach for that suitcase of ice beer. It’s cheap, sure, but so is a bus stop lawyer, because no one has ever had more than three Bud Ice’s and escaped the prowling eye of Johnny Law. There, in a cold holding cell the next morning, you’ll hear that voice. “Doo-BE-dooBIE-DOOOOO.” They’ve stripped you of your shoelaces. This is your hell, and there’s no escape.

“Yes, I am” guy

Catchprase: “Yes, I am.”

Era: Mid 90s

Where Are They Now: Eddie Jamison actually parlayed this role into a somewhat successful career as a character actor, appearing in all three Oceans films and an episode of “Justified” before really coming into his own in a couple of guest spots on “Franklin & Bash.” And if you didn’t see that coming, then you totes don’t know anything about career arcs, bruh.

Clydesdales

Catchphrase: N/A, because even the most creative of copywriters can’t put pure, unwavering, #merican pride into words. And horses don’t talk. Idiot.

Era: Since the 1930s, but in Super Bowl commercials dating back to 1986.

Where Are They Now: When you’ve fallen, there they’ll be. When you’re lost, from the hilltops they’ll come galloping. When family values are fading, and the economy is in the shitter, and the goddamn liberals are pussifying this once great nation, on top your steed you’ll ride. Side by side, one magnificent beast after the other, fueled by raw, unbridled American horsepower. The only diesel you need is in your bottle, and a brighter dawn awaits. For you’re a Bud man, from way back, and this land, well, it’s our land, son. And we’re taking it back. Drink up. For tomorrow, we ride.*

*Paid for by Ted Cruz 2016