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Marshawn Lynch is big in Japan. So naturally, their NFL investigative team was dispatched to the Seahawks training facility to get to the bottom of his love for Skittles, and maybe expand his horizons with bold candy flavors from the exotic orient. It was set up as a taste test, with the pundits from NFL Japan selecting the different candies. The video can be watched here.  (Via r/NFL)

Representing the far East were:

1. Hi-Chews:

hichew

Marshawn was familiar with brand as they are also readily available in the Oakland neighborhood where he grew up. I’ve never had them but just looking at them is enough to make your braces look like the type of razor-wire fence you’d see surrounding an impound lot.

2. Milky: 17467-fujiya-milky-candy

Marshawn stuggles to place the flavor of the candy until he remembers that it’s called “Milky.” To be fair, milk’s one of those flavors that is easier to identify if it’s spoiled than if it’s fresh. Good milk doesn’t really stand out on the palate. It’s like asking you to identify “toast.”

3. Calpis calpis

Ironic that they sent him CALPIS since that’s how at least 11 teams would have described his college career leading up to the 2007 NFL draft. This is a softer marshmallow treat whose texture can only be described as “Brandon Mebane.”

I’m thinking about placing a heavy wager on the Broncos just because lazy journalists will be giving Marshawn Lynch candy non-stop for the next week and a half, and he’ll be crashing from his sugar high right around kickoff. That said, I would like to watch a little bit more of NFL Japan since they seem to have a great grasp of how to cover a narrative, but let me just say that I’m very disappointed that they didn’t sneak in a wasabi or fish flavored piece just to see Marshawn-san’s reaction. That’s Japanese television 101.

Other points of note from the video-

  • The Seahawks medical staff considers Skittles to be medicine, and it is stored with the advil and medical tape.
  • Marshawn Lynch saying “Marshawn Konichiwa.” Feel free to edit in “bitches” at the end if you’re so inclined.