It’s our favorite time of year. As much as we may pretend we don’t enjoy it, playoff season is galvanizing and uniquely enjoyable. Even if your team was mathematically eliminated 2 games into the preseason, the playoffs is where exciting football happens. Stories are made, narratives are broken, and we can all hate-watch the Patriots while eating out of a tub of ice cream and snickering to ourselves whenever Brady calls for a flag that isn’t going to be thrown, then cry into that same tub when the flag is finally thrown. Because it will always be thrown.
The other great thing about playoff season is that it gives football fans the chance to finally prove that they’re smarter than dickhead sports writers by making fun of their stupid goddamn Super Bowl picks. So here, for your pleasure, are KSK’s Super Bowl Picks. Feel free to tell us how wrong we are in the comments. I’ve even added a poll so that you can vote on which one of us is the dumbest.
RobotsFightingDinosaurs: Seahawks over Patriots, 28-20.
Sarah Sprague: Patriots over the Panthers by 10, “because a Belichick always pays his debts”. She’s too much of a coward to give a specific score though, so let’s say it’s 94-104 Pats.
Christmas Ape: Seahawks 31, Colts 23.
PFT Commenter: Saints 0, Chargers 7. “rivers does the bush push on woodhead 4th and goal from the 1 IMO”
Trevor Risk: 49ers 23, Colts 13.
Big Sandy: Seahawks 3, Colts 2.
Old James: “Panthers 77, Colts 3, And it snows. And Bruno Mars is hit in the head with a pipe wrench when his cover of “Livin’ on a Prayer” doesn’t go over well with the NJ faithful in attendance. A guy can dream, right?”
Tim Schavitz: Seahawks 31, Patriots 20. “Cold weather causes Tom Brady to lose his hand after connecting on his first high-five of the season. Game becomes a showdown between Beef Moe vs the Patriots 4-headed RB committee. 5-headed? I lost count.”
BobbyBigWheel: “Seahawks 30, Colts 10. Our run of entertaining Super Bowls comes to an end because we can’t have a good CFB title game and a good Super Bowl. It’s science. Peter King will blame the cold weather in New York.”
Eric Sollenberger: “Broncos 34, Saints 20. Peyton Manning shocks the world by finally arriving on Eli’s level of eliteness.”
StuScottsBooyahs, who is such a goddamned optimist it’s the most adorable thing ever: “Carolina 77, Denver 3. Cam Newton sets NFL record with 11 touchdowns, while Peyton Manning sets NFL record for most intentional grounding penalties. Peter King misses entire game tweeting about miserable 48-degree weather.”
In the best of all possible worlds, StuScottsBooyahs is right and Peter King has to write about it the next day. But that probably won’t happen. So go on and tell us what will instead. Don’t worry. We won’t go back and edit this post later after the fact. Probably.
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.