Cetificate Of Merit Jan 13

The playoffs. Hearts are broken, dreams are dashed and misery is our only friend. Have no one to cheer on for the remainder of the season? Remember the words of Kommenter Dickimaa, “When it comes down to it, let’s just remember the best bandwagon: CHAOS.”

Beyond chaos, there is the pure hatred that goes into the NFL playoffs. Teams, players, fellow fans. As Kommenter Scotchnut explained in the Hater’s Guide To The Post Season: The New England Patriots, “A wise man once told me, ‘You can’t truly hate others until you learn to hate yourself. He added, ‘Until you get to that place, I’m gonna hate the fuck out of you, son’. The one thing about my dad, he always kept his word. [sheds single tear].”

Speaking of the Hater’s Guide To The Post Season: The New England Patriots, I only have to say one thing about the 300+ comments in support of the Pats, against New England and battling each other:

Dancing_banana

It was quite a thread.

I am your host, Sarah Sprague, and these are your comments of the week for January 7, 2014.

Derrick Coleman’s battery commercial makes me want to root for the Seahawks

make it snow

It’s definitely better than a battery commercial with Jerramy Stevens.

Rob Ryan’s Hair Cited As Reason He Doesn’t Get Head Coaching Jobs

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is the worst kind of discrimination. I think it’s about time the league instituted a OW-OOOOOOOOOOOOO-ney rule.

The Terribly Awful Slogans and Fashion of Super Bowl XLVIII

MythReindeer

Super Bowl XLVIII: Not Even a Wannabee Two-bit Gangster Governor Can Match This Traffic

Colin Kaepernick disrespects the game of football with backwards hat, could use a history lesson

Goldblooded

This kid had a 4.0 college GPA, and has never done anything questionable. Stop being so ignorant…we all know what your real problem is

(Reply) David Terrell’s Balls
Noone cares how many Gats Per Armtats he has FYI

49ers-Panthers Playoff Live Blog, Second Half

HappyFamilyDad

I would love it if somehow Cam threw the ball and it went into the 49er side line, somehow hurting their top four plays as a karma reward to Harbaugh.

49ers-Panthers Divisional Round Live Blog

Otto Man

If you’re going to play the Amelia Earhart quote, you really need to have the ski jumper vanish in mid-air.

Charles Barkley Laid Down The Real Talk On The Patriots Locker Room

Spruce Moose

Mr. Kraft, eat a Snickers. Because you turn into Charles Barkley when you’re hungry.

Colts-Patriots Divisional Round Live Blog

The National Football League

THIS GUY DIERDORF, I CALL HIM MY GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE HE DOESN’T STOP TALKING TO ME WHEN ALL I WANT TO DO IS SIT HERE AND WATCH A FOOTBALL GAME

Saints-Seahawks Playoff Live Blog, Second Half

(Right after Marques Colston’s illegal forward pass.)

irishda

French people can’t be expected to learn English rules.

Saints-Seahawks Divisional Round Live Blog

Spruce Moose

Chevy should just go ahead and make a commercial where a man’s gay son gets in a Chevy truck and emerges seconds later saying Pledge of Allegiance and loving vagina.

Old School Zero

If it wasn’t for Cincinnati’s Five-Way Chili, Seattle would definitely also have the record for NFL’s Loudest Assholes.

KSK Kontent Klearinghouse: Taiwanese Animation, Boomer on Weed, Hall of Fame Finalists and David Arquette

NumberJohnny5

The mere thought of Joe Buck stoned is ruining all of my future highs.

Foodball: Stop Panicking About The Damn Velveeta Shortage And Make Your Own Delicious Queso

In car serrated

The Velveeta shortage is just another false flag created by Goodell.

The Hue Jackson Conspiracy

skim172

Utterly implausible.

Joe Flacco would never eat gummy bears. He considers them too wild and colorful. On special occasions, Flacco treats himself to a small box of Sunmaid raisins.

YA BETTA ASK SOME BENGALS

SlipperyHenderson

Rivers is looking more and more like the goofy guy in those Sonic commercials.

The Redskins Make The Other Gruden Their Head Coach

Enrico Pallazzo

As a Redskins fan, I can’t respect anyone who would agree to work for the Redskins.

Welcome to the NFL, Johnny Football

NumberJohnny5

Every time the D’s on the field, Manziel should get a quick game of flip cup in.

MythReindeer

I don’t know a single thing about college football, but I do know that anyone going by “Johnny Football” can go jump in a tire fire. I mean that literally, but I will be forced to settle for the Texans bringing it about metaphorically.

Sean Payton Puts Seahawks Logo On Practice Field, Is Ready For Anything Now

David Terrell’s Balls

Conversely, Pete Carroll is preparing his team by proving to them that Hurricane Katrina was an inside job. The government has been controlling the weather for years, folks. Look it up.