Cetificate Of Merit Jan 7 1

“Ok, Monty, you really need to shut down KSK and get some work done.”

5 minutes later- “Oh man, the Komments of the Week are up. I have GOT to step up my Kommenting game this week!”

-Monty This Seems Strange To Me, in last week’s COTW.

Thank you for the inspiration, Monty. We’re more than happy to give you a break during the work day, but please. Make sure you don’t fall behind at the office. We need you to stay employed so our advertisers see we have a readership with buying power.

I am your host Sarah Sprague and these are your Comments of the Week for the first full week of the New Year 2014. It was an especially strong week for comedy pyramids and sportsmanship within the Kommentariat, as demonstrated by the outpouring of sympathy for Otto Man in Chiefs-Colts Wild Card Live Blog, Second Half. Good to see the playoffs have yet to break your collective spirits.

Jeff Ireland Is Gone From The Dolphins

scotchnaut

Careful what you wish for, Fin fans. The front runner for the job is Jimmy Scotland.

The Seahawks Are Serving A Marshawn Lynch Burger With a Side Of Skittles

A special commendation to BF for starting a lovely thread of responses for his idea:

B_F_HOODRICH

They should do this for other players. A few ideas:
- Peyton Manning’s Colorado Combo: Papa Johns and some sunglasses(hide your stoned eyes while avoiding the glare from his monstrous forehead!)
- Joe Flacco’s Artisinal Haribo Basket: Crab(imported) served with gummy bears

KSK Kontent Klearinghouse: The Colts Get A Perm

Old School Zero

Jacksonville’s going to be the first team to have sponsors’ logos on their jerseys and pants, aren’t they?

(Reply) David Terrell’s Balls

Strip club or adult diapers? I’d be pleased either way.

After Three Years Of Struggle Green Bay Fan Decides He’s Had Enough

Dempsey

I’ve never seen such poor behavior from an NFL owner.

Meast and Least of Wild Card Weekend

Chum Pot

Dalton beat himself like a…well, you know.

Haters Guide To The Post Season: Your Team Blowing A 28 Point Lead

mclamb86

Cheer up Old James, as the ancient proverb goes;

“I get knocked down
But I get up again
You’re never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You’re never gonna keep me down”

Not A Great Weekend To End Playoff Victory Droughts

Jethro

I hope Andy Dalton is eaten by a bear. And when the bear poops him out, I want Marvin Lewis to trip face-first into that poop and drown. And then Jay Gruden gets a deadly infection trying to resucitate him. If I had a genie that would be my first wish.

Chargers-Bengals Wild Card Live Blog, First Half

Otto Man

Cincinnati is famous for its chili in the same way Nagasaki is famous for its atomic bomb.

Chiefs-Colts Wild Card Live Blog, First Half

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

THIS ANDREW LUCK, I CALL HIM AMISH BAKER BECAUSE HE HAS A GIANT BEARD AND MAKES HIS BEST TURNOVERS AT HOME.

SonOfSpam

THESE CHIEFS I CALL THEM ANCIENT EGYPT, BECAUSE THEY ARE RELYING ON THE KNILE FOR SUSTENANCE AND THEIR HOMELAND IS MOSTLY A EMPTY WASTELAND.

And congrats to Rikki-Tikki-Deadly for the following comment on Time To Implement A Reverse Rooney Rule In The NFL which formed the basis of a mighty fine comedy thread. Everyone in there deserves a good star.

I’m a little disappointed that PFT Commenter didn’t acknowledge the importance of the Puny Rule in giving undersized white guys like Danny Woodhead a chance to compete in the NFL.